Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML
Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML
Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast. I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
Today, after I worked 15 hours yesterday, coming home at 1 a.m. thinking I could sleep in because my kids have no school, I was woken up at 7 a.m. because they wanted pancakes. FML
Today, I woke up and poured myself a large glass of orange juice from a carton and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML
Today, I accidentally overslept and missed a morning breakfast at work, one I never get to have when it happens. Not only did my boss say nothing about me being absent, he even asked me if the food was good. FML
Today, my mom had me and my little brother make pancakes for breakfast. I had to let the dog out of the house to go do his business, so I had my little brother wait there and told him not to touch anything. I came back 5 minutes later, and there were cracked eggs in the almost-done batter. FML
Today, for breakfast, I made a butter sandwich. I'm that broke. FML
Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML
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Top comments
kyjp 0
next time, get an alarm clock
Livinia 11
Damn.. makes me hungry just reading that.
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Comments (107)
nnnihad 6
am o first!?
Glidefedt 6
first comment, rawrr, thats what you get for being a sleepy head
kyjp 0
next time, get an alarm clock
dolphincheddar 10
nobody wakes up the fat kid when such an amazing breakfast is served. set your alarm clock next time flubberbuns.
twinmum_fml 6
#17 u assume op is fat because he wants to eat a nice breakfast???? that's messed up. u cant tell me u have never had bacon and eggs for breakfast! maybe op is at a hotel where it's either that or a very small selection of cereal. I know which I would prefer. especially on vacation!
CaptainDouche 0
32- Shut up. It was a joke. Go bitch at your cat if you're really this tightly wound.
dolphincheddar 10
if it was at a hotel then it'd be open longer. and yes I assumed that. becuase fat people like food, but also becuase the thought of a fat person writing an fml about missing breakfast is quite entertaining to me
dolphincheddar 10
and I love bacon. bacon is scrumptialicious. and so is bacondave
killabb23 0
34 your a douchebag 35 your a dumbass so GTFO.. everyone likes a good breakfast and you go assuming stupid stuff..
Drigr 9
yeah. I'm skinny as **** but love to eat and would also be pissed off if this happened to me. thankfully my family wakes me up to help cook when they do breakfast like that.
dolphincheddar 10
My anus is actually quite intelligent I'll have you know 40. looks like it's time for your tampax pearl
yummycupkake 0
all of that delicious food makes my username look bad.
danishbagel 3
WOW, you guys can't take a joke -.-
scarletdragonfly 5
OP - That sucks; all that sounds delicious. :| There were no leftovers? FML commenters - Come on, take a joke. You're gonna have to learn to deal with trolls if you're gonna use FML.
FC_Barcelona 0
32 and 40, don't tell me you guys don't think of someone as fat when they have that much food, even if they're not take a ******* joke unless you two are heartless idiot trying to ruin everyones day
Drigr 9
fat guy who likes food. funny. skinny guy who likes food. thumbs down.
Gema2dicks 0
What, no hash-browns? I'm hungry now.
MeesterMatt 3
Next time u want to set a girl as ur fml pic make sure it doesnt have ur computers task bar still on the screen...creepy
WhyAmUHere 19
#32, I have never eaten bacon and eggs for breakfast. I hate bacon, as well as eggs.
Swedude 5
Story of my life.
partyfool2011 4
build yourself some cereal
Zombies_Rule 0
50- are you just friggin' retarded? Learn to use your words correctly. -How do I reach these kids?-
IrishChic10 0
I don't think you can #68!
smurfsarwales 9
78=southpark reference, when cartmen teaches some mexicans.
kitten3 3
They knew you would eat it all.
itsgen 16
lol maybe hes a fatass
CsDy1395 6
subtle fat joke... brilliant
swittig 0
Karl Marx is a fatass. how's that for subtle
CsDy1395 6
Karl Marx is a brilliant man. he can be as fat as he wants.
CsDy1395 6
^ sorry, he WAS a brilliant man.
swittig 0
move to Cuba you commie scum
GrahamAker 3
132- Capitalism Thumbs up For You.
jillianmathers12 13
Lol! That's something I would do to my bother!
SinfulRose 0
You mean brother? Grammar Fail Lmfao
bfsd42 20
It was a spelling fail. Yours is the grammar fail. Think before you post.
Saltime 0
You'd cook an array of different foods, then not wake up your brother? That's a tad too much work...
Ghostkiller12345 9
8- wake me up when i care about what you just said.. which means dont ever wake me up thx
BaconDave 12
8 is staging as Eminem's wife. Sorry your name is not Kim, Jillian.
Livinia 11
Damn.. makes me hungry just reading that.
coltsrock37 15
I guess OP was left eating a breakfast for chumpions.
KittyJay 3
same... -_- especially because for breakfast I had water...
detective_oreo 0
ikr sounds amazing
smurfsarwales 9
a fatass might :D
ambowew 7
Wait outside with the dog, if you're lucky you might be able to salvage some of the scraps.
IrishChic10 0
Or the dog would rip said person to shreds trying to get the food first!
SlyTail 5
Be grateful that there werent pancakes.
lovejdbieber 0
no, dude be grateful they're weren't waffles
itsbritneybixchh 0
POP TARTS ARE BETTTTER(;
da_cookie_monsta 1
No.
ColtsDoug18 0
you know, there's this cool new thing called an alarm... you should try one some day
ZiplockP 0
what a sucky post
Lynne2 0
he didn't know there was gunna be breakfast and we wouldn't wake up early regularly "just in case" I'm sure u dont do that.