Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I think teddy bears are THE most pointless and careless gift. He shyly gave me my birthday present afterwards. It was a carebear. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear keyring. I had to explain that although many grown women like cuddly toys, I don't. And even if I did, a filthy, soaking wet bear he found in a puddle on the street is not a nice gesture, despite his suggestion I can just wash it in the machine. FML
Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML
Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML
Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML
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Top comments
SundayNightSix 23
Ingenious! If only that kind of creativity could be used for something more productive..
chocolatefrog28 29
Well, if you need a silver lining, your boyfriend is a problem solver. It's a good quality!
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Comments (68)
mkymouse90 17
Well if you're not into drugs this is not a good thing run also!
Jazzy9999 19
This isn't a good thing period.
Skrappz 4
Calm your shiz it's not like it's heroin :P It's just pot.
TheDrifter 24
All natural, comes from a plant. Hey just like heroin.
hashshim 23
I'm a strong advocate for Marijuana, but he has to respect her parents and not try to pull shit like this.
unhappyhug 11
But pot is 100% natural heroin has other shit added to make it heroin it's not heroin right from the poppy plant, and pot is just as natural as you tomatoes potatoes and anything else you grow it's all just plants more natural than us who are we to judge and condemn over plants.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Totally can boil up some black tar heroin using nothing but heat, poppy extract, and water. So, heroin is also all natural.
hashshim 23
Just because it's natural doesn't mean it's okay. there are plenty of harmful things present in Nature.
LowExpectations 30
So by your logic #61, I can eat black widow spiders without worries because they are all natural. Finally, no more debating on that for me!
nubbles10 14
Ehh, I'm not trying to be "that guy" but unless you had an open wound in your mouth, or somewhere else in your digestive system for the venom to find your blood, you should be fine. Venom has to find an open wound Poison kills you when ingested.
nubbles10 14
^^^ Was directed at #80, should've added that before
SundayNightSix 23
Ingenious! If only that kind of creativity could be used for something more productive..
IloveToLaugh143 21
Well damn! Where was he when the Millers neede him?
Kamon97 23
I think it's time to really think about who you should date, right after you dump that deadbeat druggie
SmokinGuns 13
How is he a deadbeat exactly? He's not automatically a bad person just because he smokes weed.
Rababco 29
True, but he gave OP teddy bear just so he could sneak weed past her parents. Personally, I don't think he's showing a good sense of morals or judgement.
Kamon97 23
If weed is a higher priority than your girlfriend then there is something wrong. People like him don't deserve to be in relationships...
chocolatefrog28 29
Well, if you need a silver lining, your boyfriend is a problem solver. It's a good quality!
LizetteBerenice 22
Smart
toxic_walrus 15
I actually moderated this one! Anyway, that's pretty shitty of him. And the mistake most people make is not letting the other person know that it was shitty. So I recommend letting him know.
gavocado 8
Love is in the air
mackdeezy 22
Actually no, that's the sweet smell and smoke of some kush.
Sathane 21
What the? Does he have pockets? I'm sure your parents didn't have a drug K9 posted at the door.
DocDrose 20
and even if they did, the teddy bear wouldn't have made it past the door to start with
jenjen2633 17
That was beary mean of him.
Lichinamo 33
That was beary bad.
False_Stupidity 42
And that was beary awful.
skittles1794 8
That is cleaver
Ghost308 11
Have to give him credit for creativity!!