Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by my best friend. When I got there, my "date" was my ex. My best friend knew, and she thought it would be "funny" to see how we would react. FML
Today, my "friends" set me up on a blind date with a guy who according to their description, sounded perfect in just about every way. He turned out to be my obsessive ex, and this is their idea of a funny prank. FML
Today, I was excited about being set up on a blind date by one of my new co-workers. It turns out the guy she thought would be a "totally perfect match" for me is the ex who cheated on me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML
Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
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Top comments
VannahJane 17
And that is when you decide to get a refill on popcorn and never come back
James64138 26
Oh, so that's something you're not supposed to do on a first date? That explains everything...
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Comments (139)
happy2468 21
Lmfao ew
VannahJane 17
And that is when you decide to get a refill on popcorn and never come back
cooterpie 11
Should have did it back to him.
Eluveitie 9
That would be pretty rude. Just because he's gross doesn't mean he's a bad person.
CharresBarkrey 16
5 - Isn't wiping your mucous on someone's clothing pretty rude as well?
hama806 19
2- Actually forget that. Just dump the popcorn you already have on his lap. That so gross!
coolboy675 16
Just because you are bad guy doesn't mean you are *bad* guy
Eluveitie 9
17, you're right. But saying you'll be right back and not actually coming back is far more rude.
BRLHP 24
50- I beg to differ.
akg98 13
36-- i got it!! It was a wreck it ralph referance :D
Satoaoi 13
lol oh you right lol
DanielleinDC 34
Would you want someone wiping the contents of HIS nose on YOUR clothing? That's just disgusting and rude.
Baybiiie 11
#5- I don't want to know what specifies as 'rude' to you. Eurgh. I hope OP ran for the hills!
Eluveitie 9
I guess if I were to rephrase my comment, I would say 'more rude'. Wiping your snot on someone is pretty damn rude.
imavelociraptor 6
"thanks satan" "it's SA-ten"
inzunza 5
With this booger I claim you OP mine!!!!
highway_unicorn7 5
He's obviosly thinking about your future together... I mean digging for gold and all.
TheRandomIndian 17
Nothing says "I love you" like a booger
whyisitincapital 25
Look at the wiped booger under a microscope OP. There might be a tiny love message on it for you.
TheChiver 7
No, I don't think there would be one.
MetallicaFTW 16
6 - This is probably one of the worst comments I have ever read.
Eluveitie 9
66, then you're obviously new to FML.
dathan 14
Nah. It sucks.
Eluveitie 9
It sucks, but I've seen much worse. It's mostly when the poster tries wayyyy too hard to be funny by using some ambiguous, esoteric reference.
MetallicaFTW 16
88 - I've actually been here quite a while... This comment still impressed me... Smh
howdeedoo 22
Pretend to scratch your ass and wipe it on his face
Dblocker 18
There's always a chance he might get turned on though.
shan88 14
Why pretend?
coolboy675 16
And while you're at it OP, offer him some chocolate covered pretzels he can't refuse.
oj101 33
A true lady would never do that. She would get up, excuse herself to the powder room, and never come back.
eggmarie 25
51: a true gentleman would never pick his nose an wipe it on his date. Shit at least wipe it on the seat or something.
fleeper 13
This made my day...!
Baybiiie 11
#62- that's hilarious but a 'gentlemen' doesn't pick his own nose in public and on a date no less!
James64138 26
Oh, so that's something you're not supposed to do on a first date? That explains everything...
octopussperm125 18
It all makes sense now
cooterpie 11
He was just marking you as his. Everyone knows that's what boogies are for.
coolboy675 16
Well doesn't just give a new meaning to," Time to boogie!"...
Carmstro 13
68, at least have the decency to copy a comment as your own separate comment...
carry_on 19
Watch out, he could be the same FML guy who pisses on girls legs in the shower to mark them...
TheRandomIndian 17
Maybe if OP was a booger, he would pick her first, but since she's not a booger, he wiped the first booger he picked on her
fleeper 13
Day made. Again.
ydi_4_suking 20
Is it a perfect booger?
BntyHntrSeattle 30
I didn't know people observed boogers close enough (or at all) to determine that o.O
Joe9024 20
It's a very rare study only few are qualified for
VannahJane 17
Never said he was a bad person, but he needs to learn some manners if he wants to keep a date. Edit: whoops this was supposed to go to #5 after my first comment