spermbankonlegs
United States
Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML
well i'm fucked
Aberdeen, United States
Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML
Anonymous
New York, United States
Stable genius
Today, I went on a short date with a new girl in the office, who everyone thought was a tad bit odd. Also today, she showed me the names of our future children. FML
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc
Herning, Denmark
Today, the girl I've been dating for two weeks brought up the topic of marriage, then started asking me when we're moving in together. FML
WtfDoIDo?!
Today, my girlfriend told me that she wants to marry me and have my children. I’m 15. We've been dating for 3 weeks. FML
noway
Cholet, France
Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML
Anonymous
Maryland Heights, United States
Build your own
Today, after my wife gave birth to another of our daughters, she announced that this was the last one. When I reminded her I still needed a son to carry on my name, she replied, "Well, you've got four girls. You want a boy? Birth him yourself!" FML
Anonymous
Newark, United States
Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML
nameless
United States
Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML
wastedtime
United States
Time to run
Today, things were going great with my girlfriend of six months. She knew I had kids and it seemed to be getting serious, so I decided to introduce her to them. After dinner, I walked her to her car and she said, "That’s real nice but what are you going to do with them once you and I have kids?" FML
Top comments
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Run far away.
Cleo_Nemo_ 9
Woah she needs to slow down..
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Comments (298)
Cleo_Nemo_ 9
Woah she needs to slow down..
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Hahaha fitting name he chose "spermbankonlegs" how appropriate.
ComTlancy 12
We've got a stage-five clinger right here gentlemen. May god have mercy on us all.
n_epic_fail 14
Yea name the first one, "FuckMyLife"
DeviousAngel 13
Run away.
FMLshark 12
She'll probably want to name them after the last three boyfriends she had that "mysteriously" disappeared. Get out while you still can, OP.
thamack408 11
why? she's just want to have kids. she probly has her list of names
Roevera 14
It's when she starts arranging your funeral that you need to be concerned..
Zimmington 21
Dump her, dump her fast before you end up with 5 kids, a wife you hate, living in a trailer park, & contemplating suicide!
rockwind_ 5
Run like the wind OP...
GovernorGeneral 8
"... she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML ..." Prepare yourself OP.
SLC_grumpypants 5
Ha Ha Ha. I remember THAT FML!!! *gasp*
Azail 15
57 the whole point of the FML is that the OP has only been with this girl three days...OP keep your doors locked and run like hell. Also 141 maybe this is the same girl lol.
desireev 18
I hate when people say 'Dump that Bitch!' and stuff like that... But, in this case, you seriously need to run as fast as you can, OP! This is some scary stuff! RUN!!
kyarush 10
And you say "only if we can start makin em'" Giggity!
LolFMLnot 10
Maybe she was joking around. Like , she wasn't serious about having kids in the future with you or anything. Some people just name it for fun.
AlaskanEskimo34 0
141-that was the best FML of all time
norotors 16
Looks like you'll be getting it in soon.
rillastyle 1
The ol' Morning after pill in the coffee trick gets em every time
xsilentxninjax 10
Maybe you could make their initials F. M. L., depending on what Op's last name is, of course. Or give them two middle names, in order to make it work. I think that I'm over-thinking this haha.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Run far away.
jtthegr8 26
Well at least he knows he'll get sex?
iamyummylicious 14
Just spike her fruit punch with birth control.
GoW_Chick 15
Psh nah 55 they already have a perfect escape plan if they just work together
sparkrok 8
Thank you GoW_Chick! That's the funniest thing I've read on here in quite a while :)
Guren 0
I believe Big Sean would say, "WOAH there!"
2oc 5
Why wouldn't you just reply to her comment then?
rillastyle 1
Lol every time you call the kids in for dinner they take off
ilulife 4
It won't work to run away, she'll hunt him down and rape him
YourBuddyElmo 5
RUNNNNN!!!!
stevenJB 25
It was a three days grace. But now she is "lost in you". I'm sure that was a "pain" to hear, now your thinking of a relationship "break"...sry couldn't help it
MatheusRajuidas 5
But then a mental "Riot" occurred and he thought to himself "RUN, Foster, RUN!!" (C-C-C-Combobreaker!).
Meme1988 18
The way i see this, there are two options: 1) she is crazy/madly in love/ had crush on you for years.. 2) she hates you and wants to scare you away
thebassplayer88 2
Tell her you hate everything about her and you want her to be gun forrver and get out alive then later relize the animial you have become
thebassplayer88 2
Tell her you hate everything about her and you want her to be gun forrver and get out alive then later relize the animial you have become
ladyLALAA 29
Run away, run away from the paaaaiiin!
M_Rainbow 7
Stupid Chinese people always do that
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
Bail bail bail!!!
commonlogicz42 6
In the words of metallica: "Run for the hills!!!!! Run for your liiiife"!!!!!
gators1995 30
Head for the hills!!!
IDontKnow10101 14
wow, she's already planning on having kids, good luck op
Justin23L 2
Reading comprehension **** yes!
ladyLALAA 29
Next thing she'll be wrapping her legs around you at climax screaming "be my baby daddy!"
ColtsDoug18 0
Hey, atleast you know you're bound to get it in ;) nah but seriously, she needs to slow the **** down.
bmwguy01 8
make sure she doesn't sabotage your condoms with a needle.:() or you will be a baby daddy! lol seriously you might watch out with her!:/
SarcasticUnicorn 9
Damn!
draegbomb 5
Don't be a dummy bust it on her tummy!
HeartOfLead 24
Cool! Now ask her when should you be getting a Restraining Order.
Dadz_fml 0
Tyrone. Easy choice.
DirtyMike911 0
Lafonda. Even if the child is male.
julka914 2
Shakiki XD
ProhibitionRose 14
Laquisha
LaughinStock 16
Umm... Thomas? :DDD
shadowwulf95 3
I love how y'all r choosing black names
bjr1208 3
Watermelondrea
cyK0tek 0
Go with "Shanaynay"!
rockwind_ 5
You guys are getting it all wrong! The name you're looking for is Birtha!
iDaniel525 8
La'Quashish. Can't go wrong with a name like that.
yahoowizard 16
Moooonique
Alli201103 3
Janisha:)
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Shaquarius
stephanieeDawnx 0
GhettoBabyNames.coooooommm! :D There's all sorts of good ones! ^.^ I've seen Koolaidisha, clitorisaquisha, SpongeBobishita. They're really cool... :D
pimpnainteasy 5
Watermelonisha
guyoholic 0
La-Ah(LaDashUh)
sammyjanette 17
What about Kenzie, Emery, Ty, Storm, Summer, Lilly Belle, Jordyn, or Karsyn?
HeartOfLead 24
Not Tyrone! If you name him that he'll grow up to be a jailbird.
nm11 4
Shanaynay
nm11 4
Sha-naynay
Urbanchiller 0
Banquisha
7SeasOfRhye 1
Larry, Curly and Moe Huey, Dewey and Luey or Vera, Chuck and Dave you pick.
l0v3p4in 7
Since OP's children are going to be sweet angels like their father: Raphael, Gabriel, and Michael (Rachel, Gabriella, and Michele if they're girls).
kkillaj 5
Freddy, Chucky, and Jason
Epsilonyx 15
My name's Raphael! :3 so yeah, go with that. :p
kaoticllama 1
His grandchildren should be vera chuck and dave"grand children on your knee Vera, chuck, and dave."
fetalmatter 0
And r ugly so don't go with that ins
katiejeankran 5
Bitches be crazy.
JesseRay21 4
You look kinda crazy too..
GovernorGeneral 8
^you look like you just got out of prison.
ifknh8usernames 7
144- don't give him too much credit.
katiejeankran 5
I am crazy. :)
katiejeankran 5
That comment above is awesome btw. ^^^
geegee09 6
At least she asked??
MatheusRajuidas 5
Cause otherwise she would somehow steal his semen, make herself pregnant, trying to hide for the last 7 months and then anonymously giving birth and naming the children without asking him. Yeah, at least she asked.
ProhibitionRose 14
Hey now! Stranger things have happened!
Pandacupcakelove 26
9- what's that supposed to mean?
GovernorGeneral 8
Midnight.
Pandacupcakelove 26
145- indeed.
saxetsasnak 5
Been right there with ya bud