Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was rejected by my crush at work, because I'm "too ripped." FML
Today, after waiting a year, I asked a coworker who I like to work out at the gym with me. She said yes. I figured this would be the perfect place to show off my body and impress her. In every exercise we did, she lifted more weights than I did. FML
Today, I've been an avid gym-goer since I was in high school. A year ago I convinced my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me and she had been sticking to it since. She has now has left me for a full-on fitness model she met there. He helped her start an online store, which is doing well. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML
Today, while at the gym, I started flirting with a hot doctor. I thought things were going well so I suggested we work out together sometime and maybe work our way up to dinner together, to which she replied, "Sorry but I've seen tumors bigger than your biceps," and then walked out. FML
Today, I had a gym date with a girl from Tinder. As soon as I saw her loading up the 45s, I knew I was in trouble. She could squat and leg-press over 100 lbs more than me on both. Somehow she let me come over that night anyway. I challenged her to a wrestling match to try and gain back my pride, then she made me tap out. FML
Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML
Today, I'm in the best shape of my life after losing 2.5 stone over 2 years. I never got any female attention when I was overweight, so I was quite surprised when at the gym an attractive woman came over and started flirting with me. It was going great, until she said, "You'd be perfect if you had a dad bod". FML
Today, I went out on a second date with this girl, who touched my bicep when I told her I haven't been to the gym since a long time. She asked me to flex it, I did, and it remained the same size. FML
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Top comments
HahaHokayThen 10
She's following a stereotype. But hey, at least now you're fit for all the ladies!
heylesha 8
now eat a lot and become "fluffy"
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Comments (107)
heylesha 8
now eat a lot and become "fluffy"
m0tl3ycru3 0
My cat?
iliketofu 6
Or give hee my number. I'm fluffy alright.-)
DayAndNite 8
Is fluffy code for something?
heylesha 8
18- no, its means fluffy, like a cloud.
Babydoll4ever 7
18- you've obviously never heard of Gabriel Iglesias, the comedian.
heylesha 8
27- NO! hes TOO fluffy, fluffy, but funny (:
XThe_Invoker 4
Ayyyeeee! He's fluffyyyyy!!! XD!!! Hahah!
CondomSense 4
knoxxx is a retard.
dillies 3
Pleasantly plump :)
graham11 14
41- excited much?
margie2194 12
I don't like overly muscular guys because they aren't much fun too cuddle with
margie2194 12
*to not too. Sorry candy cane hangover.
XThe_Invoker 4
Hahahah! XD! yup! Very excited ;] by the way, your picture is so funny! XD! Props Hahah! ayyyeeeee he's fluffyyyyyy! ;p
hawaiianfire 0
To 127 You sir are on drugs.
PeeblesWiggins 0
She must've just watched 'The Nutty Professor'..
XThe_Invoker 4
157 - Hahah! XD! nahhh... I don't do drugs ;3 I'm just a happy person ;]]] ayyyeeeee he's fluffyyyyy!!! XD! I just love that song hahah.
thebaconweave 0
no #27 he's dam remember "mommy I want to ride that one" "grrrrrrr" "dam"
sashasashasasha 0
Tehe, that's adorable (:
xSaru 20
it's so fluffy I'm gonna die!
HahaHokayThen 10
She's following a stereotype. But hey, at least now you're fit for all the ladies!
gress269 4
Agreed like a motha fucka.
silentbutfunny 0
Good health > ladies I think getting fit was its own reward
silentbutfunny 0
I reread my comment and it reminded me of std's XD
BigDirtySteez 1
Dude, buy her some flowers and take her on a nice dinner and movie date.. You are searching for the wrong type of girl if you think it takes muscles. Girls who date guys for their muscles tend to be very materialistic and shallow anyway
Amrel 10
Prove her otherwise!
Ecklcakes 15
No - prove her right when you take your revenge!
qazaq 1
Umm forget her, she's obviosly not very intelligent, find some one else, believe me girls like fit guys
Gringe 1
Based solely on ur picture... I dont believe u...
Eliphilat 1
that's not necessarily true, I'm a girl and I am not particularly attracted to 'fit" guys, I like the skinny geeky type... everyone is different, you can't just say "all girls like fit guys" some do, some don't it has nothing to do with intelligence either...
23lf 16
How about a fit geeky guy? He's then?
DayAndNite 8
Impress people with your personality not muscle :)
CaptainCola 7
Hey impress them with both if you've got them :)
DavLynn 4
Sucks for you, that's too much trouble to go through just to impress someone in my opinion. You should want them to like you for you.
BeefyQueef 5
Nude 4 nude?
DavLynn 4
Lol wut?
Amrel 10
OMG you put a "4" instead of a "for" OMG fix your comment now, or else i will... shit man idk its just teh internetz
heylesha 8
30- thought you were sopossed to be a grammer nazi.?
silentbutfunny 0
Or talk to her and see what kinda guy she likes then spend countless hours aiming to be that guy. Pretty much what op would have done had he known being built is a no-no with this girl
lifeisabitchthen 4
Hell yeaaah !
avocado23 5
And that should teach you a lesson to always be yourself OP
kidwiththeface42 7
You shouldn't have to change yourself to make someone like you. If she's that shallow to begin with, you're better off, buddy.
xlittlemiss 0
Agreed.
haim_fml 0
Agreed x 2
DavLynn 4
Agreed x3
BayleeWasHere 1
Agreed x4.
TheClumsiest 0
so true
yahoowizard 16
Well, since when is working out ever a bad decision? Keep it up and now you have more options, preferably one without stereotypes
Bobissmall 13
Idk. I seem to work harder to improve my body etc. when i like someone. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be the best version of you, that you can be, even if it's to impress someone.
Dracoboxer357 36
I agree with #6 completely. Do it for yourself to be healthy and the best version of yourself you can be. If she's gonna judge you simply for being active and in shape, you don't need that level of shallow I'm your life to begin with. I workout and read a lot. I box and love classical music. Prefer chess games over bar drinking, lol! Point is, stereo typing people is ignorant, petty and speaks volumes of their own deficiencies. I'm just sorry your crush turned out to be a fool.
Dracoboxer357 36
Kind of a no brainer I guess, still worth repeating, IMHO.
TheiMightyKhaL 2
I used to build muscle, then I took an arrow in the knee.
DavLynn 4
HAHAHAHHAHA! .... O.o
Amrel 10
Say that in public and you'll get a fist to the nose in a club
BayleeWasHere 1
I-I I work out!!!!!
valleyshooter 8
wiggle wiggle wiggle yea. I'm sexy and I know it!!
WCARlover 35
Oh God the 284627 times I hear this on the radio is enough
nixter5 18
It was good the first 134 times I heard it, now it's just old and overused, thanks to people like you.
The_Troller 14
It was never good
broken_red_wagon 6
I know!
flockz 20
well i guess you're going to have to stop masturbating. that cannon of a right arm is definitely going to be a turn off for her.
silentbutfunny 0
Quagmire came to mind You know, after he discovered ****
fancyclown 9
Wow, that's quite assumptuous... It could be his left.
docscientist 10
Seems like he's also going to have to continue masturbating for a while. What a quagmire.
DKjazz 20
Fortunately, I'm ambidextrous.
KiddNYC1O 22
I too switch hit.
docscientist 10
How the hell did my comment get thumbed down? Does someone not realize quagmire is an actual word?
blackstar994 5
You know you would think, that during that year he might of found out she doesn't like buff guys.