Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my 5 year old brother wanted to look through my phone. I know he can't read so I gave it to him. He was, however, able to get at my "private" photo album. FML

#14003721
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7074) - you deserved it (36833)

On 11/27/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by lebowski - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML

#14003133
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28553) - you deserved it (12775)

On 11/27/2010 at 8:03pm - kids - by lovedbyallthewrongppl - United States (Michigan)

Today, while babysitting, I brought over some colouring-in sheets as an activity. I said that I should bring some Christmas-themed ones for next time. The little girl then turned to me and said "If there is a next time." I've been put on probation by an 8-year-old. FML

#13936248
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23980) - you deserved it (3858)

On 11/22/2010 at 11:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML

#13925206
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22970) - you deserved it (3261)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:36pm - kids - by kaileekat517 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML

#13912441
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (6885)

On 11/20/2010 at 2:07pm - kids - by Lexi - Canada

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39378) - you deserved it (13063)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, at work, a little boy shyly told his mom he thought I was cute. I smiled at him as she looked me up and down and said to him, "Eww, honey. No, you do not!" FML

#13853853
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34807) - you deserved it (2917)

On 11/15/2010 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

#13840378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28223) - you deserved it (7583)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm - kids - by nicki - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML

#13825613
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28826) - you deserved it (2660)

On 11/13/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by blueheron93 (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

#13773002
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53531) - you deserved it (10467)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter got engaged. Her fiancé is not only 25 years older than her, but was her teacher in middle school. FML

#13768477
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46793) - you deserved it (4086)

On 11/08/2010 at 7:38pm - kids - by - (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22657) - you deserved it (62833)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

#13753652
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (4347)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: