Sex, Injury and Intimacy: New isn't always good

New isn't always good

By anonymous - 11/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Iowa City

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 242

You deserved it 32 424

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By bob - 29/06/2012 08:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 340

You deserved it 31 542

By Dockin - 14/02/2019 15:37 - India

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 249

You deserved it 38 017

By Ouch - 25/04/2011 19:31 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 740

You deserved it 20 684

By ouch - 26/06/2010 14:23 - Canada

Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 715

You deserved it 8 979

Crash

By Anonymous - 29/05/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I tried to have sex in the shower. While trying to support her weight, as we got into things, I slipped backwards on the wet floor and fell through the Pyrex side of the shower, with her crashing down on me. I now have bits of Pyrex in my back and have to replace the shower side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 959

You deserved it 851

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 136

You deserved it 4 017

By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 193

You deserved it 587

Life imitates bad art

By sex sent me to the Er - 15/10/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 2 117

By Clumsy Clumsy - 16/04/2016 16:27 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 482

You deserved it 3 242

Pain in the ass

By Kaganate - 09/02/2010 00:32 - Canada

Today, I was sitting on the wooden edge of my coffee table watching my sister's boyfriend play Halo 2, when I leaned back to stretch and shattered the center pane of glass in the table. I now have a large gash in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 583

You deserved it 25 662

ktm71125 19

Monday 12 January 2015 6:22

Thanks for the tip. On another note what on Earth made you think having sex on a glass table was a good idea. FYL

Chiroptera_Man 10

Monday 12 January 2015 6:20

Talk about rough sex.

Comments

Chiroptera_Man 10

Monday 12 January 2015 6:20

Talk about rough sex.

jenninator93 18

Monday 12 January 2015 6:53

His hopes for spicing things up must've been shattered.

incoherentrmblr 21

Tuesday 13 January 2015 0:54

Well, at least the glass didn't ending up in your dick/balls...

lexiieeex3 32

Tuesday 13 January 2015 1:47

Stop trying so hard #1

wanted_2_want 40

Tuesday 13 January 2015 3:48

He's so... Fragile!!! No?? Ok

ThongWarrior 17

Monday 12 January 2015 6:21

Speechless...

EkansthePokemon 2

Monday 12 January 2015 7:59

Then don't say anything.

ThongWarrior 17

Monday 12 January 2015 20:30

I believe I am free to express my opinion yea? U cant go around telling people to stop commenting -.-

Octwo 16

Monday 12 January 2015 20:37

He can and he did. Just as anyone can ignore what he said as well. Also You*

Erikaaa262 6

Tuesday 13 January 2015 4:03

all he did was say speechless... y'all need to get your life's lol

Vitotaylor36 13

Tuesday 13 January 2015 8:15

And you need to learn English, #75.

yve1220 20

Monday 12 January 2015 6:21

I hope you're okay op but ydi

Greenteamextreme 16

Monday 12 January 2015 7:43

Nobody deserves a shard of glass in their back and a concussion over creative consentual sexytimes you big jerk.

Puffpie 24

Monday 12 January 2015 7:49

It still wasn't a very good idea though.

Greenteamextreme 16

Monday 12 January 2015 8:03

Deffinately not lol. But everyone does something silly during sex at some point or another.

pitapizzaparty 18

Monday 12 January 2015 8:20

I once queefed in the middle of loosing my virginity to my husband. Thats really embarrassing

jenninator93 18

Monday 12 January 2015 10:40

#43 queefing is a natural bodily noise that inevitably will happen at some point or another, nothing to be embarrassed over... doesn't compare at all to what happens with OP and his partner.

Ashd09 30

Monday 12 January 2015 17:38

@36 I think 3 might mean OP deserves it for not having the common sense it takes to realise that 1)a table probably won't hold the weight of 2 people. and 2)even if the table legs held up, there's a good chance that the glass won't hold up

yve1220 20

Monday 12 January 2015 22:28

Thank you :)

Cayers97 12

Monday 12 January 2015 6:21

Ive always been told to play through the pain

xmaan667 15

Monday 12 January 2015 6:22

That's just not a good idea

ktm71125 19

Monday 12 January 2015 6:22

Thanks for the tip. On another note what on Earth made you think having sex on a glass table was a good idea. FYL

patrickalamo 47

Monday 12 January 2015 6:43

I bet they broke their phone as well trying to film from below.

maxisjawesome 9

Monday 12 January 2015 6:53

Must have been a pane in the back

littleteapot 21

Monday 12 January 2015 7:02

I'm glad you put FYL. Its clearly OP and his girlfriend's fault, but I couldn't bring myself to click YDI. Their actions were incredibly stupid, but not enough to deserve a shard of glass in his back. That crap hurts.

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 12 January 2015 11:00

Some of those tempered glass tables are quite strong... Op's was not one of those.

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 12 January 2015 11:04

On another note. Even if the glass had been strong enough to hold them both, that just doesn't sound like it would be very cum-for-table. So bad idea regardless.