Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML
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By
saIty
| 17
No but I bet your right arm is jacked...
If you know what I mean
*Nudge nudge*
*Wink wink*
If you know what I mean
*Nudge nudge*
*Wink wink*
Reply
golfman717
| 0
Or possibly his left if wants a change of pace...
Reply
Drigr
| 9
What if he's a lefty? Why the hell would sex be the first time you try to home your gf up. Make sure you can do it before you do it
Reply
xXxIracebethxXx
| 14
#39 - Then how was he supposed to learn? For all we know, he could work out everyday, and his girlfriend could just be chunky. Or maybe his girlfriend is skinny and he thinks looking strong would have made it wasy to pick her up. I know guys who are strong looking, but can't even (literally) pick up skinny girls. Don't accuse OP's lack of knowledge of his lack of strength, you don't know the complete story.
Reply
xXxIracebethxXx
| 14
Easy* not wasy.
Reply
Drigr
| 9
Actually, I was more getting at the fact they learned he can't carry her (and got injured doing so) while having sex. Then again, I must be the only guy the picks his GF up around the waist and carries her around the house. Of course, yes, it is possible they HAVE done this before. I just think that it would be a better gauge then just going at it.
Reply
tjv3
| 10
Next time hold her up with her back against a wall. She should then lean back against the wall that way you will not be supporting all her weight
By
rikitsumiatsu
| 11
good job ruining the mood
Reply
reallytho3
| 11
Unless op's into the whole hospital fantasy thing lol
Reply
baconftw
| 9
Or you could just be into heavier women ;)
Reply
boating_guy
| 33
I like how 12 thinks. threesome with a hot nurse anyone?
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ohSNAPyall
| 26
No bigger thrill than a vagina full of broken glass.
---
Where were those glass wounds?
---
Where were those glass wounds?
By
BlueEyed1019
| 12
make sure you tell her girlfriend you dropped her because you're not strong enough, not because she weighs too much, I could see how being dropped could be a little offensive
Reply
Rommel1942
| 9
Maybe she does weigh too much though :O!
Reply
xNephilim
| 18
It doesn't matter. If you ever want to get laid again, don't tell your girlfriend that.
By
PerfasarusRex
| 3
Go to the gym. The glass cuts and concussion should keep you pretty motivated so that those never happen again.
Reply
coolbrony12
| 3
If his girlfriend lets him try again
Reply
reallytho3
| 11
*ex-girlfriend
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xoconnie
| 8
do some pushups!!!!
By
loserman67
| 35
WOW, you really put a lot of thought into that manuver. "Here Baby, let me hold you over this glass table while we perform a physically exhausting exercise." Next time, do it in the second floor window, at least that way you'll both go out with a bang.
Reply
newbiehere99
| 6
I was thinking more of a toilet and that way when he gets up he can say "shit happens" ... Anyone? No? Ok haha
Reply
AMClaire99
| 2
loserman you made me laugh so hard with that one! thank you for that:)
Reply
tbmtbm1
| 0
That would be a funny 1000 ways to die
Reply
adins1997
| 0
i see what you did there
By
newbiehere99
| 6
That's some hardcore shit right there
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hockeyoceancity
| 13
I love how this comment and the one above you talk about shit in both...
Reply
newbiehere99
| 6
Shit happens
By
BubbleGrunge
| 18
There's only one way to fix this problem OP. More sex! It's an awesome cardiovascular work out! Plus, sex good for your health!
Reply
ByronJess
| 17
But... He doesn't need a cardiovascular workout. He needs core and upper arm strength, best achieved by working out with some weights.
Reply
BubbleGrunge
| 18
Ok point well taken...muscles OP, not cardio. Well whatever it's is MORE SEX!
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kdodge213
| 4
Not if the HIV is involved lol
Reply
savy7093
| 9
Err.. What?
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TriflingAllDay
| 6
What the fuck does the hiv have to do with this.
Reply
nahbean13
| 3
69 - testosterone.
By
winnerme123
| 8
Cue song "boyfriend" by JB
Reply
immaMonsta
| 8
I thumbed you down for putting "by JB" who I'm assuming is Justin Beiber.
Reply
instnt1nfction
| 17
8, I didn't thumb you down because I hate Justin, but because you bring him out for no reason.
Reply
winnerme123
| 8
Yes it's Justin Beiber
Reply
instnt1nfction
| 17
Never mind, he's a troll
Reply
tHeDaRkNeSs006
| 10
A bad one at that.
Reply
CaramelMacchiato
| 13
"If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go."
Lol.
Lol.
Reply
beckyxD
| 12
^^^ beat me to it -_- lol
Reply
winnerme123
| 8
64 - that's what I was referring to.
Reply
darkangel752
| 2
Why is it as soon as Justin Beiber is brought up everyone starts talking about him??? Yes okay we all know he sucks and looks like a flat chested girl but get over it..... Sorry about your situation OP, hopefully your both okay and there are hundreds of other positions to try :)
By
immaMonsta
| 8
Hopefully you don't get asked how those injuries came to be
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ByronJess
| 17
Considering they went to the hospital, I'm sure they were asked that. Doctors like to know the history of an injury, it helps them assess the situation more thoroughly.
Reply
jessicaazzzzzzzz
| 3
They could just say it was a piggy back ride gone wrong.
Reply
twisted_cherub
| 14
You can't really fool them. We once had a woman come into the ER who had run up to her boyfriend and jumped onto his lap. He had a tall boy (16oz can of beer) in his lap. She claimed she was wearing jeans, but her thighs and labia were shredded. Aluminum wouldn't rip through denim that easily, not to mention other parts of the story didn't make sense. Naked injuries are difficult to lie about. ER docs and nurses have seen it all. Just tell the truth so you can get the best treatment for your situation.
By
KYLEW72
| 3
That sucks
Reply
ryry013
| 6
I appreciate the thought and effort you put into your response.
If you know what I mean
*Nudge nudge*
*Wink wink*