Love: Today, I ran into a guy who I was completely in love with for...

By EmDa - 21/04/2011 14:44 - India

Today, I ran into a guy who I was completely in love with for months. After a couple of minutes, I realised he totally bores me senseless. What a waste of 4 months obsessing over that shithead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 716

You deserved it 64 791

Love

Walk the line

Don't engage with these people

Hey y'all!

By deservedly - 09/06/2014 16:28 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 776

You deserved it 17 397

By mperrotta913 - 21/05/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 005

You deserved it 14 837

By amburrr - 03/08/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 808

You deserved it 2 647

By Kelly - 02/10/2011 04:53 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 170

You deserved it 38 143

By DarrenP - 03/08/2019 22:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I got a burn on my foot from a Pot Noodle I didn't even want. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 140

By Anonymous - 26/06/2010 13:24 - Tanzania United Republic of

Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 785

You deserved it 65 871

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 044

You deserved it 7 526

By why god - 25/11/2013 06:16 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 832

You deserved it 6 319

By PaperInfection - 23/11/2009 16:19 - United States

Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 216

You deserved it 5 671

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 22:38 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 488

You deserved it 38 869

By rochellamaya - 02/09/2011 12:47 - Canada

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 207

You deserved it 4 256

8 out of 10 orthopedists

By Anonymous - 15/05/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, I had a talk with my orthopedist about getting back to fitness training. However, according to her, all my favorite exercises, although taught to me by professionals, are "things one should never do" and "very very bad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 85

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 04:05 - Canada

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 384

You deserved it 4 912

By insultedguy - 03/01/2011 17:28 - Netherlands

Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 222

You deserved it 4 407

By Anonymous - 11/06/2016 05:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 374

You deserved it 1 700

By Anonymous - 08/09/2010 11:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 661

You deserved it 3 218

By Crushgonewrong - 22/06/2016 21:42 - United States - Compton

Today, I told the cute girl in my office that she looked like she listened to country music, as an icebreaker. She blankly stared at me for what felt like forever, and responded with, "That's the worst thing you could say to a person," and walked away. She hasn't talked to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 426

You deserved it 12 790

By Anonymous - 29/10/2013 00:53 - United States - Cranston

Today, I had to listen to my boss say "Arabica beans" in a goofy, fake New England accent every time the McDonald's ice coffee commercial came on the radio. I worked a 12-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 697

You deserved it 3 257

By Likian5 - 05/12/2012 01:06 - United States

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 788

You deserved it 2 801

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 16:44 - United States - Rome

Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 905

You deserved it 10 875

By nic - 01/04/2009 20:06 - United States

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 724

You deserved it 120 293

By neverakid - 14/04/2012 01:01 - United States

Today, I surprised my daughter by telling her that I'm going to treat the family to a trip to the Himalayas in a few months. She promptly threw a tantrum and listed her main reasons for not wanting us to go: "It's a freaking desert there," and, "I'll miss the new Spiderman movie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 995

You deserved it 4 238

Grateful

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 01:08 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my mom made me shovel our long driveway, as it had just snowed a couple of inches. It took me two and half hours to finish. She came out and said, "Wow, is this really the best you can do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 143

By Lovelysister - 21/10/2009 23:21 - United States

Today, I texted my brother saying, "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he replied, "You better not be doing drugs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 956

You deserved it 9 733

By sigh - 16/04/2012 03:10 - United States - Medford

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 213

You deserved it 3 576

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 129

By Embarrassed wife - 21/12/2018 14:00

Today, I let my 5 year old play on my tablet while we were both using one of those family restrooms with two toilets. She took a selfie showing both on us on the toilet and sent it to my husband. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 1 227

By IndieRox - 28/11/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 381

You deserved it 3 275

By tiffylueg - 21/06/2016 13:38

Today, my allergies are killing me. I took a Benadryl to help, but the allergies are still here. I'm now chugging Mountain Dew at 9:30 in the morning to keep from falling asleep at my desk. Thanks for nothing Benadryl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 178

You deserved it 1 487

By Help - 16/09/2011 16:20 - Australia

Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 992

You deserved it 2 036

By Ginna - 29/10/2010 18:29 - Canada

Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 141

You deserved it 2 615

By perpetuallyscrewed - 06/10/2009 04:06

Today, after nearly eight months of unemployment, I started a great new job. After seven and a half hours of work, my new boss comes up to tell me what a great job I was doing, but that he somehow forgot to clear the new hire with the company owner, so I'm fired. Hello, unemployment... again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 810

You deserved it 2 169

That backfired

By Alexander D. - 14/07/2012 00:48 - United States

Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 647

You deserved it 37 077

Roofing

By Anonymous - 29/08/2021 11:01

Today, a tile slid off the roof and knocked me out as I was fetching my mail. Apparently, I lay there for a while with the wind blowing my dressing gown up, flashing my bare ass to the neighbourhood. People took pictures, but no one thought to check I was alive, not even my kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 394

You deserved it 95

Wakey wakey

By zzzzzz - 30/01/2021 07:59

Today, my boyfriend had an appointment he had to wait months for, after he finally agreed to try to figure out what's making him so tired all the time. He slept through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 88

By fstfckd - 07/06/2014 19:16 - United States

Today, at college, I was frantically trying to finish an essay on gay rights that was due less than an hour later. In the end I failed, because the college internet filters kept classifying every single page containing the information I needed as "sex", and blocked it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 745

You deserved it 15 082

By Anonymous - 05/07/2015 09:29 - United States - Beaverton

Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 021

You deserved it 1 844

By Karen - 31/08/2009 14:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 806

You deserved it 4 807

By BIZZMAL - 05/01/2011 02:44 - United States

Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 275

You deserved it 32 531

By awkwardbf - 09/09/2009 01:26 - United States

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 766

You deserved it 4 815

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Top comments

shellzy 20

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Thursday 21 April 2011 18:45

You're a shallow idiot. How can you be in love with someone you know nothing about?

xXshadowrollerXx 6

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Thursday 21 April 2011 18:48

Just because he bores you doesn't mean you have to call him a shithead. Sheesh.

cumverg 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 18:44

Everyone below this line is jelly _________________________

shellzy 20

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Thursday 21 April 2011 18:45

You're a shallow idiot. How can you be in love with someone you know nothing about?

soccerluv05 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 18:47

agree

lidemocr 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 19:01

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

valalvax 13

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Thursday 21 April 2011 19:14

yea, but he's a shithead was for being boring?

valalvax 13

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Thursday 21 April 2011 19:17

shithead* DYAC

duzzyfucks 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 19:17

word

molculrbiologist 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 19:26

That's called lust not love.

dirtyblond 4

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Thursday 21 April 2011 19:27

Lust can lead to love. ;D

itialian_lol 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 19:38

agreed

enonymous 8

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Thursday 21 April 2011 19:45

Lust in India usually leads to a backhand from the parents no matter what age.

Heather_x0x0 6

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Thursday 21 April 2011 19:52

I know!!! how is she in "love" with a guy without knowing him at all?!?

aardvarkish 15

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Thursday 21 April 2011 20:03

Ditto 1

mrtoothpick 11

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Thursday 21 April 2011 20:36

I love this statement. Spot on.

Jeremiah92 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 21:49

haha 59 win

Mitcha857 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 22:19

she's and idiot for being "in love" with someone who she didn't even know. And now she says he's a shithead cause he's not her type? she's the real shithead here

Mikekenny 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 22:48

wat a crappy fml

ipodseller 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 22:55

punch him in the face... you'll have something to talk about

DallasFreeSex 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 23:06

lol

esu 5

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Friday 22 April 2011 0:17

your the shithead for your creepy obsession

nalia18 8

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Friday 22 April 2011 5:28

i agree with 23. but stiil it is kind of mean.

htb2050 11

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Saturday 23 April 2011 0:55

that was what I was gonna say but you said it for me.

kewlguy23 0

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Tuesday 26 April 2011 4:04

Couldn't agree more with that. :)

aigroeg 0

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Friday 17 February 2012 9:54

totally agreed!

ruledbysheep 0

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Saturday 7 April 2012 8:09

My friend has been in love with the same guy for 3 years, he finally said there'd be nothing between them. Thank god I have been waiting for so long for him to say that, I'm pretty sure we all knew it would end like that anyway :p

MellyLuck1484 7

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Monday 11 June 2012 13:17

yes it's shallow. To not know they bore you... you must have never talked to them or heard them talk at all. Based completely on looks and what you dream up in your own head. That is pretty much the definition of shallow.

Kamon97 23

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Wednesday 20 November 2013 5:56

Say it sista!!!

CoolAsian 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 18:45

stop bitching.

jordanprodigy023 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 18:46

I agree with the above statement. You are stupid for having feelings for a guy you don't even know. Ydi

ImaWiseGuy 5

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Thursday 21 April 2011 20:51

he probably did it on purpose, to help the process of you progressing your ass outta his life....

lizh_fml 9

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Thursday 21 April 2011 21:52

Its not just that she had feelings for him, people have crushes all the time. I object to calling him a 'shithead' because she has now decided she doesnt like him

RaineLee 5

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Thursday 21 April 2011 23:06

OP's the shithead for obsessing with a guy she knows nothing about for months.

eddieyes 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 23:40

that's why im so over guys

shulgafish 0

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Friday 22 April 2011 2:44

op is kind of a huge bitch for calling this guy a shithead. therefore I name you, bitchface.

hypnotiq_trini 0

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Friday 22 April 2011 7:45

I swear people don't know the meaning of love anymore. Obsessed is the only word the op used correctly. Idiot.

UnknwnClassicGrl 5

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Thursday 21 April 2011 18:46

Ugly people are good at the inside. Go for it!

anorexicbarbie 8

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Thursday 21 April 2011 20:13

Not always.

poiuytjfffc 0

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Friday 22 April 2011 6:24

this is a stupid FML in general, how did it even get posted on the website

ImanAzol 4

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Monday 25 April 2011 18:30

No, some people are disgusting dirtbags, inside, outside, everyside.

dirtyblond 4

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Thursday 21 April 2011 18:47

Love at first sight?

Gomez_Vidal 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 20:32

That's chemically impossible.

ImaWiseGuy 5

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Thursday 21 April 2011 21:09

since love has a designated chemical equation in all...^

seanders 10

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Friday 22 April 2011 1:31

Cmon we all know "love at first sight" is a fancy name for rape.

iianalove987 7

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Friday 22 April 2011 3:26

Haha! ^:]

dirtyblond 4

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Friday 22 April 2011 4:33

Hahahaha, I'm sure that's what Romeo wanted to do to Juliet!

CrazyDude19 3

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Friday 22 April 2011 5:47

this is just an opinion but love at first doesn't exist, however I believe lust at first sight exists

dudeitsdanny 9

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Friday 22 April 2011 23:39

If we're gonna refer to love as a chemical reaction, strictly, then love at first sight is entirely possible. However, if we refer to love as an emotion, then it makes sense to say it isn't possible. It would be nice if it was. I once felt like I had fallen in love at first sight.. I still think that what I felt was as close to love as you can get just at first sight.. But it's not possible.

LPEasierToRn 3

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Thursday 21 April 2011 18:48

you live, you learn

aardvarkish 15

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Thursday 21 April 2011 20:06

not bloody likely

singer4life666 0

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Friday 22 April 2011 1:49

Great username.

CoolAsian 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 18:48

Don't call him a shithead maybe he was just shy, other than that your just terrible.

brianjman14 22

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Thursday 21 April 2011 20:35

Yeah, I was thinking that, too. That's mean to call him a shithead. But I gotta admit, I chuckled when I read that last sentence.

mzeemzima 0

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Sunday 24 April 2011 14:42

yeah why call him a shithead i mean for all we know could be a shallow ugly bitch who guys can't stand to talk to I'm saying coz I actually know bitches like that