By Dockin - 14/02/2019 15:37 - India

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 243
You deserved it 38 005

Same thing different taste

Top comments

missamazinggg 12
zebraface 15

Because throwing your glasses on the ground is just sooo sexy.


IamAbc 2

Are glasses actually made of glass? I always thought they were plastic.

I'm pretty sure glasses are least the newer ones are, you don't want shards sent into your eyes whenever someone bumps into you. they just crack but they don't shatter.

Next time make sure not to get any glass in your ass OP.

Threw it on da ground!! You can't buy me hotdog man!

bulgeinmypants 0

I had no idea a pair of glasses had such deadly capabilities! O_o

missamazinggg 12
icelalyubila 6

Ahahhahaha sorry OP. I wonder how your gonna shit now XD

n_epic_fail 14

Yes we all see what she did there no need to state the obvious.

unoffensivename 0

Taking a dump will be like making out with an ugly chick painful

62- But, by stating that, have you not stated the obvious yourself? I mean, you did mention that we can all see what she did there. Think about it...

GovernorGeneral 8

95- ya but we could all tell that she just did what she accused the dude on. Now youre just stating the obvious. Omg. Now im stating the obvious. OMG NOW IM STATING THE OBVIOUS THAT IT WAS SO OBVIOUS. WHEN WILL IT END!?!?

GovernorGeneral 8
Chaos187 6

That's going to hurt for a few days.. Sorry OP

Sitting is way overrated, lying is the shit!

I actually did that once but I didn't cut myself I only broke the frames on my glasses

Two Fallout profile pics in a single thread. Make that three because mine is a Cazador.

I dont think there isnt gonna be any anal sex today.

markrs 0

Well that's a way to open up...

OP - You are lucky you didn't lay down on your stomach and slice your dick off!

ya u know cause ur dick is on ur stomach

somerandomdude19 2

Literally the worst effort at an insulting nickname I've ever heard. Fail.

175 - fail was a fad. It's now done. Therefore, your the twat :)

Mister_Triangle 21

It may just be me,, but I don't think that sound is generally associated with breaking glass.

zebraface 15

Because throwing your glasses on the ground is just sooo sexy.

Eggers 2

I dunno, the thought of my girlfriend doing that is turning me on a bit...

And it's a bit awkward making out with your glasses on.

mattmadden 0

I don't know why people thumb Keevarou down for reading the post wrong.

37 stole the words right out of my mouth. Personally OP could've just put his glasses on his collar, that's what I usually do. And I can tell you from personal experience that depending on the frame, it can be near impossible to make out with your glasses on

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Flip side - no more constipation! Yeah!

ShroomsOnAcid 16

No need for that outdated and downright primitive anatomical feature - now it all just conveniently slides out! Welcome to the lazy 21st century!

Just a stray thought here: you bleed, you clot. Sounds like you would come closer to super glueing your crack shut, rather than facilitating easy movement.

Eggers 2

you laid down on the ground and not the bed or couch? who does that?

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Pfff, I dunno, only crazy people are capable thinking up of such a preposterous location to do the deed.

Eggers 2

i can't be the only one here that doesn't enjoy carpet burn

ShroomsOnAcid 16

I can't be the only one here who doesn't have carpet in every room.

i was thinking the same thing. hella wierd laying on the floor... where were they?

ThatLooksSticky 16

I imagined OP & their crush outside in a field of daisies, rolling around and pawing at each other like animals.

i imagined an abandoned wharehouse with rat shit and puddles from leaky pipes. hella nasty