Sex, Injury and Intimacy: New isn't always good

New isn't always good

By anonymous - 11/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Iowa City

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

agreeclassic 22 254

vote type 1 32 485

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By bob - 29/06/2012 08:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

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By Dockin - 14/02/2019 15:37 - India

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Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/05/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I tried to have sex in the shower. While trying to support her weight, as we got into things, I slipped backwards on the wet floor and fell through the Pyrex side of the shower, with her crashing down on me. I now have bits of Pyrex in my back and have to replace the shower side. FML

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By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

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By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

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Life imitates bad art

By sex sent me to the Er - 15/10/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

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By Clumsy Clumsy - 16/04/2016 16:27 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

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ktm71125 19

Monday 12 January 2015 6:22

Thanks for the tip. On another note what on Earth made you think having sex on a glass table was a good idea. FYL

Chiroptera_Man 10

Monday 12 January 2015 6:20

Talk about rough sex.

Comments

ToxicMoo33 18

Monday 12 January 2015 21:28

Lol

LiNdSaY2 5

Monday 12 January 2015 21:50

That sucks but you kinda deserve it.

grimpeeper 13

Monday 12 January 2015 22:06

You, sir, earn the prize for being the dumbass of the year.

Erikaaa262 6

Tuesday 13 January 2015 4:01

kalbrek009 20

Tuesday 13 January 2015 18:59

Could have been a "pain in the ass" as a shard got lodged in a cheek or ...well, you know.

dannnngthatsux 19

Saturday 17 January 2015 2:06

Uh, duh, glass tables are only for shows. You watching her, her watching you, you get the idea, 1 on, 1 off, both getting off. Don't you watch 'Drawn Together'?