Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
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Top comments
stretchedthin 20
haha sorry but that is funny and sad though, sorry op. Maybe you should do the same thing to him when he asks for some give him some lotion.
eternal_malaise 10
Tell him you're thinking about finding a new joystick since his doesn't seem to be working anymore.
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Comments (196)
stretchedthin 20
haha sorry but that is funny and sad though, sorry op. Maybe you should do the same thing to him when he asks for some give him some lotion.
Palirose 22
Well #55. Just like many women...sometimes men are just not in the mood and rather do something else they enjoy doing.
winterkills 7
actually 67, turning a girl down only makes it better when you go at it a little later.
shadowfighter10 9
With all the "sorry"s in this, I would guess #1 is canadian
tunti 11
If he's feeling in the mood sometime, toss him a donut and tell him to have a good time.
ChevyRedneck85 13
I'm trying to figure out how he was close enough to a fruit bowl. was he gaming in the kitchen?
stretchedthin 20
#127 lol no I'm not a Canadian, I was born and raised in the states.
tacojauns 45
Just think if this was the other way around it wouldn't be an FML
wildmonkey 16
Always bring a banana to a party.
AlwaysWatching 27
Matches your pic!
GuiLD15 7
._. @136
random_cashmere 25
p
capthigh 16
this is so funny I'm sorry that's wrong
speakersboom 19
an FML that's funny?!? No. WAY!!! Sorry, sarcasm courses through my veins.
HelloooooNurse 20
You might have a sarcasm clot.
BlackPanther19 11
Priorities he's got em
barleyguy 17
Libido he does not got em
EternalRest 5
Grammar, neither one of you have it.
Damned_Architect 25
Does your husband have low testosterone or something?
mominzed 19
Why is everyone giving this guy the thumbs down? This is sense.
RedPillSucks 33
Or he's just not in the mood.
glabberfasted 16
Low testosterone makes men "not in the mood." I really don't get why this was thumbed down.
junkman6 22
Because "testosterone is a steroid right bro?" "Yeah bro that Yankees guy got busted for testosterone steroid shots right bro?" "Yeah bro and steroids shrink your dick so low testosterone is good, right bro?" "Yeah bro, Thumb that idiot down he obviously doesn't know what testosterone is bro." Sorry I couldn't help myself after hearing a similar conversation this morning at the gym. And it would explain the thumbs.
GuiLD15 7
#98 Thats not at all true. high testosterone doesnt mean high sex desire
junkman6 22
142 that's not what #98 said at all. Just to clear this up after my sarcastic rant above. You will be a lot more interested in sex with good/high test levels. Low test levels pretty much make you forget what a penis is for.
eternal_malaise 10
Tell him you're thinking about finding a new joystick since his doesn't seem to be working anymore.
GuiLD15 7
yeah, leave him and sleep with another dude because he wanted to play a video game at the time.
Cwizer 17
Hahaha bring the banns to his face and "wing it"
cryssycakesx3 23
is this even a sentence? banns?....
Cwizer 17
Auto correct I'm sorry
JosephMoore77 8
But doesn't autocorrect only correct to actual words
cryssycakesx3 23
it was a word on mine too
cryssycakesx3 23
bamns: a notice read out on three successive Sundays in a parish church, announcing an intended marriage and giving the opportunity for objections.
snugglesMcGee199 23
You spelled it right the first time. Also, I don't think that word is common anymore.
cryssycakesx3 23
ah, yes. banns* please forgive.
olpally 33
Sex or video games. Seriously, this shouldn't be a difficult choice in most guys minds.
HKCgrimmjow 15
I know right? GTA all day. You can even have the strippers called to your house like pizza now.
TheCrispyCat 20
Everything at the Strip Club is free this weekend.
speakersboom 19
I'll bring the coupons!
RedPillSucks 33
Didn't seem like it was a difficult choice for OPs husband.
fakedsincerity 32
I'm a girl and I wouldn't have even paused the game to toss the banana.
sjohnson459 4
You would be surprised ha my boyfriend sometimes does this!
kellysquared 2
Yea right my bf plays call of duty every night . We only have sax once a week . I'm sick of that but he thinks it's enough
Hiding_from_you 2
I bet this comment earned you lots of pm's.