Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I've been an avid gym-goer since I was in high school. A year ago I convinced my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me and she had been sticking to it since. She has now has left me for a full-on fitness model she met there. He helped her start an online store, which is doing well. FML
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML
Today, after waiting a year, I asked a coworker who I like to work out at the gym with me. She said yes. I figured this would be the perfect place to show off my body and impress her. In every exercise we did, she lifted more weights than I did. FML
Today, I found my girlfriend in bed with her gym trainer. They said they were doing cardio. FML
Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
Today, I’ve been horny for weeks on end. Because I’m on antidepressants, I can’t orgasm, so the horniness won’t go away. The only thing I do is go to the gym, where literally EVERYONE seems fuckable. While I’m not depressed anymore, my vagina is. FML
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Top comments
AmyPacheco 0
Well I hope you stay loyal
UsEumYong 4
Ohhhh Shes in for a nice visit ;)
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Comments (137)
badass243 6
pornhub.com/MILF
AmyPacheco 0
Well I hope you stay loyal
sskarma23 9
Don't listen to that person... I won't tell...
Muslimgal92 0
No don't stay loyal. This is BS! You can't have a GF on another continent. Go out And find you a real gf that lives in the same city as you are!
tanneriscool 2
You two just can't stay loyal with anyone or have never been in love. Once you find someone that you love enough to not cheat on and trust, you'll understand. Until then, quit ******** on others relationships.
babynurse11 0
It'll worth it ;)
StoryOfTheYear 15
OP's GF: I can't wait to see you! I'm about to explode with excitement! OP: Oh, believe me, you don't know the half of it.
Rachel1987 4
I must agree with 15. Long distance relationships are so romanticized but they aren't realistic. The only reason to maintain a long distance relationship is if you are going to school and your significant other is "back home" and you plan to return there. If its an online thing you should really end it and find something real. Good luck op!
SecretMe00 5
Just **********!!!!
HandsomeRatch 20
That's weird, my LDR has been working for over 2 years and it's still going strong. And yes, it's an online thing. It requires a lot of effort and communication to make it work, but it CAN work just fine.
yusaku02 20
I'm in the same boat as 41 but change 2 years to 3 years. It most definitely can work.
BeccaHugs 17
To everyone saying "find another gf," you are giving aweful advice. Maybe OP realizes that relationships can be built around love rather than sex.
bbianchi13 0
They can work. My gf and I have been together for almost two years and she lives on the east coast while me on the west. I've seen her about 8 times and we met online. They can work, it just takes a lot of dedication and loyalty.
docscientist 10
And it takes a degree of naivety.
91nash 2
Amy ur deff cute
Calyx_fml 22
She's your gf not your wife. You dont have to dump her but you are well within your rights to get some action on the side. I'll bet she is. Talk with her about it.
millionz4184 2
That it madness!! It's cool that it works for u. I don't have the strength to do it. When my ex left for the West Coast, I told her I loved her, and to live it up and enjoy her life. We were young and in the military.
sk8rchick97 0
OP, meet right hand. Right hand, meet OP.
girl112891 7
Sounds like something my boyfriend would do when he transfers away and I go over seas.
maryam8869 7
stupid thing to say
tanneriscool 2
69 - I want to just keep downing your comment. So negative..
blobs1907 3
Hey, theres something called a right hand with lotion on it that can solve that problem. Or maybe a closer gf.
jacob4592 0
A closer gf is right!! Another continent yeah the freak right!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Real men use straight-up manual transmission. **** that weak-sauce lotion.
hobojo69 23
Don't forget the ****!
UsEumYong 4
Ohhhh Shes in for a nice visit ;)
feranmi101 0
The lucky dog
melbournearsenal 18
Disregard bitches acquire Aesthetics !
MrOneUpper 2
FUARK!!!!!!
jessthebest3 0
I don't really understand the FML part of this.
HandsomeRatch 20
OP, my boyfriend can probably feel your pain right now. Long distance relationships really suck when you're horny as ****. .. I didn't do that one on purpose. ^ At least it'll all be worth it in the end!
zakkyzebra 11
Phoneeeeee sexxxxxxx.....
Melissa92_fml 13
Kinda agree with 50. I'm in a long distance relationship too. My boyfriend is in America and I'm studying in England but I'm originally from Gibraltar. We're thousands of miles apart and also get horny. Phone sex/cyber sex is just working with what you've got at the moment.
starburst7596 14
I don't think it is.
ThecomingofTan 9
Go rub one out under your bed, but make sure to check for monsters.
thisisafunnyname 12
Checking for monsters is not necessary; monsters (and people) tend to not go near masturbating men.
54754N4 14
if I knew that, I'd have started earlier
BrightBrownEyes 11
That's good you're doing that though!
hitman_mata 2
Type 1 diabetes? Haha why is that
olibuur 9
the sex will be great at least
Girlsrock4u 0
I know right