Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Queue cutters should be prosecuted!
Today, while queuing in a shop, a girl appeared to bunk the line. When I asked her about it, she said it was nothing to do with me. She then asked me what was I going to do about it, before kneeing me in the nuts. I was overtaken by everyone in the queue. FML
Own it!
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Charming
Today, as I was working in retail, this guy shoved me into the shelves for asking if he needed help with anything, screaming at me that I need to leave him alone. FML
Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Stealth
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Top comments
desireev 18
That's when you say 'I NOW agree with what HE said!!' and point your finger to the guy who insulted her in the first place. FYL
saIty 17
Hmm when you say "socked" do you mean smacked with a sock filled butter and other miscellaneous materials? Or the boring fist to face?
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Comments (124)
GingerLaxBro 3
Firsties
JMichael 26
Lol damn
thinkPlNK 0
i don't understand why people always react physically to certain situations. even if you had made a rude comment, you don't go around punching people.
angrymexican 8
I'm telling you man, they're trying to get in our heads. Trying to turn us against each other. It's their plan to take over the world!
flux_panic 18
23, what the hell are you rambling on about?
DrDilllonReese 12
Nothing really, he just wants to be seen on the Internet. It fulfills him.
FruityLoooons 8
I hear what you're saying, 4, but maybe the chick had an off day? Well, whatever her reason is, I agree with you; when did we start solving things by our fists? :/
flux_panic 18
well I hope seeing himself as an idiot was very fulfilling.
The_Tool1 13
We shouldn't judge this girl, maybe her imaginary boyfriend dumped her that day? That ***** hard to get over.
ananonymousguy 0
You should charge her for assault just because you can. Teach her a lesson that just because she's a girl, that doesn't mean she can just assault people. Reminds me of the survivor episode when joe almost wrecked the one guy haha.
luccmon 6
But what fulfills me, sir?
saIty 17
Hmm when you say "socked" do you mean smacked with a sock filled butter and other miscellaneous materials? Or the boring fist to face?
coletrain11 5
....butter filled up with socks? Oh, no.
silentbutfunny 0
Sock filled butter.... Like glove filled jello
Epsilonyx 15
Or butter filled socks. Paula Deen would be proud. :')
soleen_fml 0
Ur an asshole.
silentbutfunny 0
35 *have
AssassinsCRB 0
22 butter filled sock is the same as a sock filled with butter
saIty 17
35- I'm sorry if buttery socks offends you.
EnterSandman_fml 20
This made me picture some girl taking off one of her socks, stuffing an unopened box of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter in it, and smacking someone that resembles Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket repeatedly with it.
TURRTLED3RP 7
Retard
The_Tool1 13
Whoaaaa watch out sandman. If I think about that for to long it turns me on.
Jezlovespink 5
No maybe she flew in the air and coming down with all her force and velocity with a sock some how forced the sock on his face sorry op did u call the ambulance to help u get it off??? Lol some super hero crazy womam having a bad day accusing u of being the name calling bastard.....
eigelste 0
You should take her on a date she will protect you:)
SecretMe00 5
Could she not tell you weren't the same guy?
buck33 14
19 no she just felt like punching OP
silentbutfunny 0
Mhmm, totaly off subject
SecretMe00 5
Man, I got some haters on this thread. Lol..
Jakesterk96 8
Was the insult "bet you can't throw a punch!"
macdaddymady 8
Don't be a sissy, play it off like it didn't hurt. By posting this fml you are risking you reputation and masculinity, so you are, in fact, a sissy. Would you like some ointment for your broken heart?
silentbutfunny 0
Men get hurt, too...
urdirtyolduncle 15
Yeah.. I got a booboo just by reading your comment, 6.
Michael_92 20
Your reputation? What are you 12? This might come as a shock to some but guys indeed have feelings too.
silentbutfunny 0
So if you don't wear high heels, be completly emotional, cook, or if you join the military, then YOUR risking YOUR reputation and feminism?
farhil 14
Sevrandy, I have the feeling that people in general just don't like you. But he has a point, this society is so 'equality' oriented, that it puts stricter social rules on the previous socially dominant group, white males. It seems like justice, but when you think about it, people get so worried about who said what, and "hate crimes", that they don't worry about real issues like unequal pay. When every social group has the same opportunities and rewards, 'racism' and 'sexism' will just die out, because they will be considered equals.
silentbutfunny 0
If your playing sports, be just as rough with girls as you would with the guys, equal opportunity :)
illmatic2 16
I always get mad whenever I get punched in the face; it doesn't matter if it hurts or not.
EatnBeef 7
6 why are you such a bitch? Oh you're a city slicker. Sorry but **** new york. But anyways lighten up god dang
downtime 13
6, I'm confused. You're speaking as though we live in a world of sexist stereotypes and yet here you are, a woman, giving your opinion. Isn't there something else you should be doing with your hands? Theres a kitchen, laundry and bedroom, pick one and shut the **** up.
desireev 18
That's when you say 'I NOW agree with what HE said!!' and point your finger to the guy who insulted her in the first place. FYL
Donniehw 5
That is awesome xD
flockz 20
push an aisle on top of her.
RuCheezBurger 10
Cause that totally won't hurt her at all.
flockz 20
that's the point.
desireev 18
Dear Mods, Please erase this comment. It was posted twice for some reason. Pweeeeezz... :)
loller27 6
you were at walmart weren't you?
liv4theearth 13
Yeah, I can picture this happening at either Walmart or Target.
thisisafunnyname 12
I could see this happening at McDonalds with 3 extremely fat people(yes I know the fml says "store," not restaurant).
colts609380 7
Walmart is so ghetto lol
Suba_fml 8
Agreed with #9