Today, I attempted to bleach my body hair so I wouldn't have to shave. A little while later, I realized that I'd also succeeded in bleaching my skin, which was incredibly noticeable. I'm hosting a pool party this weekend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML
Today, I tried to bleach my upper lip hair. I now have a bright red mustache. FML
Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML
Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML
Today, while taking a shower, I noticed that I had forgotten to shave my pits. I went to a party last night, and there are now several Facebook pictures of me dancing, with my arms up and my hairy pits showing for the world to see. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. Fifteen minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML
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Top comments
GrooveSponge 0
That's what you get for being lazy!
Thabb 0
full body swimsuit?
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Comments (284)
haggymypants 3
LOL.
6tori6 5
you didn't even think of your skin?!!
ReptarRAWR23 0
Haha hope you don't have bf or should I say did have bf. haha jk that sucks!
VinegarStrokes 0
14 your username totally redeems your comment, just don't say anything else. Any time you "attempt" to do something you're definitely going to deserve the outcome.
6tori6 5
lol^^
AnagenisisZagus 13
14, you are hurting me. Just your comment and the picture and the only explanation that can simply surface after having put these clues together... You scare me, man. You really do.
gabstahhh 8
That's an awkward situation to explain...
LairaIsKindaCool 6
ummm you guys mind NOT replying to the first comment with something that has NOTHING to do with that comment ? juuust cuz you want it to be seen.. yeah kthanks
NabbdjuretPerry 0
u did also reply the first comment....
imacreeper 3
soo 56, why don't you tell me how your comment has to do with comment 1s comment??
frozenshake 5
she's replying to the comment that replied to the first comment stupid
enonymous 9
I wonder has anyone complimented you on your stockings?
MissBunnyWillEat 11
I am so sick of stupid, unfunny first comments. it's ridiculous. out of all of the words in the English language, all you could think of was "LOL!"? Come on.
rallets 23
she didnt really say that it was a word
FMLandurstoo 9
I hate when people say one word text slang just so they can get first comment. I always say a comical or meaningful response so I never get first comment. Whoever does that is a loser with no life.
johnnyredcorn 5
They are the people that sit on FML all day and night just anticipating for a new one to come out so they can be the first to comment, however shitty the comment may be, they still feel proud.
flockz 20
ya they probably sit there with their eyes wide open refreshing the page over and over. no lifes indeed.
xxlauruh 0
everyone - stop letting dumb things bother you so much.
imacreeper 3
92, your comment kind of annoyed me. how could you possibly know if that's what someone would ever do? how do you not know that they're on their lunch break, on the FML app reading an FML when the first thing that pops into their head is "LOL!" sure, it's vague, but hey. why complain?
waswashere 0
same to you madam, same to you.
skaterblue12 0
good point
TheCrazyAli28 1
yes cuz ur username is sooooo much better
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
102-fmls show up late on the app
Lumenoire 0
Better than being completely orange, minus some circles around your eyes.
Juliaa15 6
158- I've gotten many first comments on iPods. or close to first. sure they weren't the funniest thing ever but it wasn't lol. hahaha (:
BadBoyz90210 0
dude… you soo are the next M.J.
MissBunnyWillEat 11
79, did I say it was? Nope, don't believe I did.
The_Creeper_fml 8
102... gtfo
iEatGuppies 0
#56 you just did you hypocrite.
TheresNoEffingwa 7
56- definitely agree it's annoying!
TheresNoEffingwa 7
stop living -_-
iEatGuppies 0
change it into an Amish party.
bidsababe 1
haha, to be honest, I check this thing out alott just cause I like to read the fml's but I normally don't comment /: I feel like a loser now! haha
Randuhh_17 4
That's what happens when you take the easy way out..
bassdredd 2
um OP we don't have a problem with the COLOR of your moustache...
kaya925 0
your hairy dummby
NikkiFlysKites 8
Does anyone stop to think before they submit their comments, or does no one care that they sound ridiculous getting worked up over 3 simple letters? Seriously, I'm just as tired of seeing you all bitch and moan. I get on this for the smart ass comments, not the cry babies.
JManHobbs 0
Complaint about complainers? COMPLAINCEPTION.
alkaid 14
Russell peters! I love that guy xD
haggymypants 3
ACTUALLY I logged on FML on my iPhone and all these were new, and I literally lol'd at this FML so I commented LOL. are you all seriously freaking out about this? get over it, you weren't first. assholes.
karagarren 8
lol. that's something id do
HugoBosss_fml 0
Then shave it off if you care that much...
volley4eva1698 0
shave off your skin?
TheFinestWannabe 3
get a fake tan too counter the bleach?
Soloman212 28
For that upcoming wedding. Your mom would appreciate it!
hardcoreFML4223 0
stupid wow MJ in the house
Big_Red_138 3
Sure pays to be lazy; right OP?
iluvhobos 5
Just shave it off, for christ's sake! Or, if you are trying to avoid shaving at all costs, wax, Nair, laser hair removal, that rough pad you use to 'buff away the hair'-all great substitutes! No need to resort in at-home bleaching.
imaberry95 0
Bc shaving takes so long... that's what you get. dumb + lazy = stupid things happen that people make fun of you for
aubcope14 0
lazy ass..
xlostwithoutu 0
123 - MJ didn't bleach his skin.
meggieh815 0
205- yes he did. He had a disease that turned his skin lighter in spots, ( hence the one hand glove) so he got his skin chemically bleached.
meggieh815 0
I didn't mean to put that here. it was supposed to be up there somewhere. sorry. :/
meggieh815 0
204-- yes he did. he ha a disease that caused his skin to change colors in spots, (hence the one hand glove) so he got all of his skin bleached.
brand862 0
wtf? that makes NO sence
starrysky4 0
shaving doesn't take that long, bleaching is just about the same
nfc14 2
Exfoliating soap!
ALlamaOnFire 20
251 - Oh, the irony!
Thabb 0
full body swimsuit?
volley4eva1698 0
sexy
MollyDollLifee 1
Some full body swimsuits ARE sexy :) Just have to get one that looks hot.
ILoveCTP 3
Just tell everyone it's National Michael Jackson day!
NomOnShroomz 14
Morphsuits FTW!! If you don't know what that is check out www.morphsuits.com.
xleanne_aLly 23
op sounds realllly lazy. I mean come on? it would take less effort to shave then bleach.
claras100 5
trikinis ;) that's sexy
ImaBmyLonurTees 0
I love those one piece suits! so sexxy. go tanning
iownyou777 0
I'm still thinking dissolvable bikinis.....
emdee_7 0
tankini?
GrooveSponge 0
That's what you get for being lazy!
6tori6 5
exactly what I was thinking!
jflore05 0
hahahahah!!!
DEXter501 0
Wouldn't bleaching it take more effort than just shaving it though...? I don't really see the logic...
6tori6 5
Good one one;)
PrickHead 0
as soon as i read that, i just heard it in cleveland's voice xD
ImaginaryFoe 1
#23 is right. Unless OP was so lazy she just poured bleach over herself, it's much less effort to just shave.
Drigr 9
not every day/week/however long women wait before shaving.
layz_fml 0
Bleh, have the decentsy to shave... if you bleach it your just gunna be a hairy peroxide blond beast :x
stoufer12 6
hahaha^^
aliceisbored 11
...bleach the rest of your skin so it blends?
bleaker95 0
We have a genious!
Metal_Chick 15
I was just thinking that, haha!
bobateme 0
Thats what mj did lol. I feel bad for OP cuz its permanent.
blueglue 0
Hair bleach often lightens skin....... for like 20 minutes. It goes away.
jflore05 0
??????? it'll go away with some sun hahahaha
rosha267 21
What kind of bleach were you using?!
miraggg 1
clorox
TheDrifter 24
It doesn't take much to bleach away spray tan.
macrosoft 3
stay on the side and cook
Drigr 9
a double post. one with thumbs up, the other thumbs down. lol much?
macrosoft 3
did you guys mean to comment in both or did it just do that?
macrosoft 3
stay on the side and cook
ReinaJay 13
That sucks cause I'm guessing your really tanned
twinmum_fml 6
u deserve it because u should not have been too lazy to shave!!! it does not take THAT much energy. seriously!!!!!!!!!!!
Moota 9
I know right!
daisyloo 7
Exactly!! Sorry but YDI:(
jane79 0
op next time just take the time and either shave or use the hair removal stuff like nair it's slot quicker and smarter than bleaching your skin smh
IHeartJimi02 0
I agree. I would much rather shave. bleaching will take out the color but you'll still be hairy.