Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say, "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML
Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML
Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML
Today, my friend and I were having a conversation in the ladies’ room. Suddenly, we hear banging from one of the stalls and, “Can you talk somewhere else? Some of us are trying to poop.” FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
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Top comments
cryskuni 5
I have always wondered how people can poop in public, because I have the fear someone will hear and make a comment like that.
glittertwat 10
You should take their advice.
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Comments (115)
graffitied_love 20
What does the person get out of making such a comment? Are they hoping to start a conversation?
OhDearBetrayal 25
What's wrong with just trying to be a friendly stranger giving advice?
MuseFan1991 14
24- nothing. except when you're on the loo
birdcagereligion 10
That's a very strange comparison.
emeraldisle 30
That's why I try not to use the loo in public if someone else is in there.
obsydian_fml 3
Put a few strips of toilet paper in the water first, it will lessen the sounds of your poops to avoid things like this. Now if the other person has their ear against the stall wall on the other hand...
compasseagle89 8
I drop a couple pieces of TP in to prevent splash back. Worst feeling ever.
Spark_Slicker 19
Unless you need toilet paper or something, talking to anyone in another stall while you're in one is freaking bizarre. Especially if they are commenting about how they were listening to you poop.
brutaltruth 3
You should save that "shit" for home.
unknown_user5566 27
I can't stand when people talk to me in public restrooms. I think it's one of the most awkward things you can do. The women at my work don't seem to know how incredibly awkward it is. They try to talk to me, each other, and a bunch of them talk on their cell phones. I don't get it!
Bpwoods 6
That reminds me of an FML where someone was talking on the phone and the op of the FML thought the person was talking to them, and replied to all their questions
jaggerbaby4726 1
Haha I remember that. FTL lol!
joshszz_fml 4
Was that Target near a hospital called Princeton-Plainsboro?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"You show that BM who's boss." Yeah baby, yeah!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
This is why I hate public restrooms. TOO. PUBLIC.