Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML
Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, my grandpa yelled at me, telling me to stop being ugly and rude. I only asked if he could cut the watermelon. FML
Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
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Top comments
ThePieGuy0817 29
Well, at least he's creative.
MadlyInLust 5
It could work...
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Comments (103)
shinedown00 4
Did it work?
jazopalchris 14
Lol!!!!
knotcool 15
Your son is my hero.
silencespeaks 4
Was he already high?
Quadroblitz 10
"Son, we need to talk. But first I need to post about this of FML."
cheepcheep23 8
Well, gotta atleast give him props for being creative and artistic!
kelemen 2
I don't see where the fml comes in. Less work for you.
vinylscratchp0n3 23
Ever heard of knocking?
Astrobomb 21
and????
GrapeJuice67 17
Was he already High when he started the carving?