Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, my family drove me to the airport. Before they said goodbye, my mom discreetly pulled me to one side and asked if I'd remembered to pack my birth control pills. Unfortunately, my little sister heard, then chased me through the security line, yelling, "YOU'RE ON BIRTH CONTROL?!" FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML
Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML
Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML
Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML
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Top comments
kdog333 1
maybe she just thought that you had reallly bad breath, and that it had to be fixed really soon.
bandofsand 10
This is really inappropriate behavior on her part.
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Comments (123)
AlexJenner16 2
Next it'll be a thumbtack in all your condoms... Be careful!
senor_awesome 14
Lets hope she just takes the thumbtack out before someone tries to put it on. That could be very painful. Just a guess...
Yessi_Boo 14
Switch her denture cream with glue when she's not paying attention LOL! (i'm just joking) Don't worry OP, at least you're smart enough to notice. Some people would have no second thoughts about the pill looking and tasting different. :)
lambda_fml 40
When we are ready we will do it MOM!
trudybable 2
switch her sugar for salt or something :)
KM96 24
Wooooahhh!! Obsessive much! Sorry for you OP
perdix 29
Maybe if your breath didn't stink, you could get someone to **** you? Anywho, my vote is with the first choice. People usually swallow pills with water without tasting them at all. If you are sucking your pills, that may be another sign of sexual frustration.
Enslaved 36
What's wrong with you? Give the poor woman some grandchildren! :P Seriously, I hope you got the correct pill back and hide the rest so she doesn't tamper with them. Your mom will just have to wait until you're ready.
spottyblanket 8
Tell her to foster a child if she wants a kid in her life again so much, plenty pf children out there need help
Kathts7 12
If she says THAT then maybe it's a good thing not to be with her
swick25 22
what are you talking about??? says what?
catkat1988 17
Quick couple of questions: 1. Why does your mom even have access to your contraceptive pills? 2. Minty fresh breath from swallowing a tic tac without even tasting it? 3. Don't those pills come in blister packs, making it very hard to tamper with them without opening the blister pack, and thus making it very obvious? 4. You are still living with your mom, I assume, but she still feels now would be a good time for you to have kids?
CheeseHater 23
1. If she's that determined she might just look through her daughter's room to find them. 2. You feel the taste as soon as you put the tic tac on your tongue. 3. She probably has one of those old people things made of plastic with one pill for each day, and they are put in different compartments. 4. This mom is obviously crazy.