Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, my family drove me to the airport. Before they said goodbye, my mom discreetly pulled me to one side and asked if I'd remembered to pack my birth control pills. Unfortunately, my little sister heard, then chased me through the security line, yelling, "YOU'RE ON BIRTH CONTROL?!" FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML
Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML
Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML
Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML
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Top comments
kdog333 1
maybe she just thought that you had reallly bad breath, and that it had to be fixed really soon.
bandofsand 10
This is really inappropriate behavior on her part.
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Comments (123)
noisebox 1
Hope the guy(s) you're shagging are not brain dead mutant zombies, because then she'll be sorry, or else, she feels you should have fresh breath for sexual activities.....
redneck66610 1
Maybe she smelled cum on ur breath
HunterAlpha1 8
maybe you should start acting like a grown-up and either be willing to live with the consequences of your actions or abstain.
katt_is_here 24
Maybe you should shut the **** up. :D I bet you are one of the assholes who would bitch about a girl not giving you sex after taking her out to dinner. Using safe sex IS a grown-up thing to do, you troglodyte!
HunterAlpha1 8
safe sex= getting married before having sex, and only with the person you're married to. so yes, safe sex IS a grown-up thing to do. btw BC pills will eventually **** you up healthwise, so if you absolutely must act like a floosy, go with condoms.
KiddNYC1O 20
Can't tell if you're having too much sex or not enough...
Wayne913 13
Maybe she's trying to tell you that oral is the best contraception.
Svengalien 3
How does this even happen? I thought oral contraceptives came in blister packs with the days of the week written on?
svahrsrdacwby87 7
In the United States...tampering with someones medication is a federal offense.
pipc 10
That's ******* wrong. Not even funny. I'd be pissed.
winkydog4056 16
What a mom for thinking her daughter is dumb enough to not know a Tic Tac from a birth control pill!
natural711 6
Tell her shell never be a grandma and put her in an age home.