Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, my family drove me to the airport. Before they said goodbye, my mom discreetly pulled me to one side and asked if I'd remembered to pack my birth control pills. Unfortunately, my little sister heard, then chased me through the security line, yelling, "YOU'RE ON BIRTH CONTROL?!" FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML
Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML
Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML
Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML
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Top comments
kdog333 1
maybe she just thought that you had reallly bad breath, and that it had to be fixed really soon.
bandofsand 10
This is really inappropriate behavior on her part.
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Comments (123)
Earths_Venus 25
Time to move out!!
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Who said she was living with her mother? She could have kept her pills in a bag or purse and took it with her while visiting.
shushiblec 0
I thought my mom wanted grandkids. Best of luck!
Jonah171 12
Tic tacs? Really? She must not want one bad enough to make it that obvious. Disregarding how wrong that is in the first place. I'd go buy new condoms and keep them hidden from her or else there will be holes.
Harpy20 24
OP needs to confront her for sure. If she doesn't, who knows the things that crazy woman will think she can get away with...
AussieChild 22
My mother would more likely do the opposite- swap my tic tacs for birth control tablets!
pheebs314 17
That is so bad for you... :/ I hope your mother cares about you more than to drug you against your knowledge.... and I don't know about you, but I never eat just 1 tic tac...
AussieChild 22
Yeah nah, she wouldn't really. Was more the point that my mum would rather me not get unintentionally pregnant, unlike OP. :P
ardencred 7
How bad is your breath?
AussieChild 22
Uh, fine, why?
HannahLouise96 13
Damn, and I thought that only happened in The Simpsons!
majorjeneral 0
I'm absolutely positive this would never/has never happened on The Simpsons. You must be thinking of Family Guy or American Dad.
majorjeneral 0
My mistake! Bart did that.
roe010992 10
TicTacs look nothing like contraceptive pills. Don't use episodes of the Simpsons to make up your FML submission.
brittanyrmh_ 12
That's terrible. That's a decision for you and your husband/boyfriend, not your mother.
Kibaruto 33
After you figured it out, you still ate one if the tic-tacs, didn't you?
Szaszaspasz 26
If someone can't tell the difference between birth control pills & Tic Tacs; I shudder to think what kind of kids they'd have.
Accuraxy 10
I think you should confront her and talk about this with her. That is very immature and inappropriate on her part. Good luck OP.