Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
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Top comments
ThrottleJockey 35
Your mother needs professional help.
Allie614032 34
At this point, I'd take her to a doctor. It may not be a psychological issue so much as an actual brain illness. I really hope you're right and she's just paranoid. :)
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Comments (22)
ThrottleJockey 35
Your mother needs professional help.
manb91uk 22
Sounds like your mum bypassed the kiddy pool and dove head first into the deep end!
MrCT 22
With no water.....
Allie614032 34
At this point, I'd take her to a doctor. It may not be a psychological issue so much as an actual brain illness. I really hope you're right and she's just paranoid. :)
MamaChey 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He said his Mom is on drugs..
heheitscece 16
I don't think he said his mother was on drugs. I think he meant his mother was paranoid about them. I could be wrong, though.
Sinshine 28
No he didn't. She's paranoid about him taking drugs.
8313girl 28
Bless your heart!
RichardPencil 30
Has she no sense of smell? Sounds like a pretty aggressive intervention. What’s she on?
pjsr 32
It’s actually pretty awesome to be grounded as an adult. You can just stay home and chill. When your wife wants you to go shopping with her, or your daughter wants to see ‘Garfield 3’ in the theater, just say, “Aww, sorry! I’d love to, but I’m grounded. I guess I’ll just have to stay home and watch the game.”
acmariner99 25
Speaking of drugs, what is she on?
John Nemeth 14
Sounds like your name is frank isn’t it?
Lobby_Bee 17
Has your mom even seen real weed before? Get her some and let her experience the differences in smell and taste.
ARISKomuniszt 24
Marijuana Monster Makes Mothers Mad
kidcool97 4
You are an adult how about you tell her no and to leave
WHS_Kitty 8
He can’t... because he’s a *whispers^ Mama’s Boy.