Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I wanted to be on top during sex, after always being on the bottom. Afterwards, he said, "You're never riding me like that again." FML
Today, my very top boyfriend told me he was ready to try being the bottom. He moaned and complained about the pain the entire time, even though I got less than 2 inches in, and then got angry I was taking so long to cum. I thought I was the drama queen in our house. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend of 3 years saying that his back is always hurting to avoid putting in any work during the bedroom Hokey Pokey was his way of saying I’m a lame screw. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I had to finally accept that no amount of communication, directions, or diagrams will make my otherwise great boyfriend good at sex. When he's on top, he thrusts like the tin man with no oil. When I'm on top, he lays there like a sedated mattress. He refuses to try anything new. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
buddy51 23
How about if you suggest that your BF take a hike? A long walk off a short pier perhaps? YDI if you stay with a guy who's both bad in bed AND an inconsiderate jerk-off!
DocBastard 38
Any person who makes any sexual demand without your agreement deserves no sex at all. Full stop.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (82)
mikepzz 27
So really this is a win win......?
ironik69 31
There is nothing wrong with being a thick chick!!! If he does not like it then tough stuff for his rude butt. If you're happy with yourself, then find someone else that will be happy with it too. Putting someone down is never okay...and I'm sorry, but its not funny either...for any of you out there who would try to justify it that maybe he was making a joke.
evhrocks876 4
I think you should tell him that
Pensu 12
Dude, if your boyfriend is suggesting that you climb on top of him, you are obviously not fat. He is, however, a dick.
amifaiyaz 12
you honestly deserve better, bad on top AND such a jerk..
megmichelle45 3
You two need a serious talk; with lack of sexual communication and insults like that, you're heading for disaster.
thosedogtags 8
At least you get laid..
Lilo4life 26
Well it's better that way because at least you know your skinny enough that he can handle your weight
tararochelle 18
Asshole. Worst way to ever bring up weight issues. I'd tell him ill be on top, not for the exercise but because of how bad you are. If he's going to be blunt.. Maybe you should too!!
AngelicTide 11
And there's your silver lining!!!