By Anonymous - United States - Twin Falls Today, I went to the park to read “The Book Thief”. I fell asleep and when I woke up, my book was gone. FML I agree, your life sucks 4263 You deserved it 966 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Westerose Today I started a new job, I found out that my employer doesn't follow the labour laws and my new co-workers are planning on reporting the owner of the company. The owner is my father, and I want to help them report him. FML I agree, your life sucks 7019 You deserved it 781 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sportyhusband - United States Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML I agree, your life sucks 14074 You deserved it 26047 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By joeshmoe - United States Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML I agree, your life sucks 34235 You deserved it 25696 236 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML I agree, your life sucks 67002 You deserved it 4684 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NaniNarcotic - Australia Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML I agree, your life sucks 8866 You deserved it 73273 190 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notyourparkingspot - Canada - Edmonton Today, a guy who lives in my condo complex threatened to take my husband and me to small claims court. Why? He was mad about the $300 fine to get his truck back after it was towed, because he was parked in our spot. FML I agree, your life sucks 4264 You deserved it 345 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By belly the jelly A job well done. Today, I asked my husband to deal with the very large spider in our kitchen. Rather than a newspaper or a slipper, he went after it with an aerosol can and a lighter. The spider is now dead, but so are the wall and cupboards in my kitchen. FML I agree, your life sucks 3495 You deserved it 665 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lightweight - 8/3/2021 20:02 We need to see the video! Today, I found out that while some people make out with others when drunk, I apparently sing a weird mash up between "Bad Romance" and Terry Pratchett’s Hedgehog song. My friends recorded it and posted it on Instagram. FML I agree, your life sucks 588 You deserved it 279 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By frustrated - Hong Kong Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML I agree, your life sucks 55937 You deserved it 5903 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Superficial - United States Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being superficial. She said I was superficial because I paid $100 for acne medication, because she always complained about how much acne I had. FML I agree, your life sucks 36899 You deserved it 2671 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rach - United States - Roy Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 44600 You deserved it 4348 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NoTeddies - United Kingdom - Leicester Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear keyring. I had to explain that although many grown women like cuddly toys, I don't. And even if I did, a filthy, soaking wet bear he found in a puddle on the street is not a nice gesture, despite his suggestion I can just wash it in the machine. FML I agree, your life sucks 10909 You deserved it 1277 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Flaps - United States Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML I agree, your life sucks 16022 You deserved it 38465 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dan - United States Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML I agree, your life sucks 10765 You deserved it 49052 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - United States - Elkhart Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML I agree, your life sucks 47192 You deserved it 17503 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Netherlands - Kerkrade Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML I agree, your life sucks 37065 You deserved it 2178 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By awkwardaf3 - United States - Bel Air Today, as I squatted down to get a snack, my pajama pants ripped wide open. I guess the universe is try to tell me something. FML I agree, your life sucks 7377 You deserved it 1819 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By boo8713 - United States - Bell Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML I agree, your life sucks 30373 You deserved it 2849 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dizzy - Malaysia Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 44348 You deserved it 6052 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, I was driving on the freeway in the back seat of my friends car. I looked over to the left and was greeted by a van full of adolescent boys waving and making the "call me" hand gesture. I then happened to looked down and realized that my right boob was completely out of my top. FML I agree, your life sucks 19143 You deserved it 54100 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML I agree, your life sucks 39289 You deserved it 4836 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JustSayNo - United Kingdom - Guildford Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 19209 You deserved it 39855 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat - Canada - Victoria Today, I'm celebrating New Years with my cat. I made her a cake. FML I agree, your life sucks 31177 You deserved it 6841 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Chessmomma3 Today, my 18-month-old found our "naughty drawer." I found her carrying a "toy" all over the house. FML I agree, your life sucks 1317 You deserved it 910 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fme Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered "incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML I agree, your life sucks 5611 You deserved it 333 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By almost broke - Czech Republic - Brno Today, because my fiancé is criminally incompetent at budgeting, I'm now having to pay the first installment for my own wedding ring. FML I agree, your life sucks 21461 You deserved it 4422 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I keep failing it all - Lithuania - Vilnius Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML I agree, your life sucks 48834 You deserved it 3934 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cody - United States Today, I got pulled by a cop because I forgot to put my registration sticker on. I get nervous around authority and have nervous shakes. I ripped the registration sticker 3 times trying to put it on. The cop then gave me a ticket for "Improper Equipment". FML I agree, your life sucks 30644 You deserved it 7020 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/6/2020 05:02 #1 Dad of the day Today, according to my husband, our son is at the difficult age where he can finally speak fluent English, but is still too childishly dumb to say anything interesting, intelligent or frankly worth listening to at all. There are times I wish I was a divorced single mum. FML I agree, your life sucks 1189 You deserved it 405 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML I agree, your life sucks 1837 You deserved it 256 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bastardddd - United States Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML I agree, your life sucks 48347 You deserved it 6360 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rejected - United Kingdom - Harlow Today, I thought I was finally over my anxiety problem, and confidently went to my first ever job interview. Halfway through, the manager tells me that if I didn't stop being so nervous, he couldn't give me the job. I cried. FML I agree, your life sucks 41293 You deserved it 5006 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jrocks - United States Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML I agree, your life sucks 19851 You deserved it 70521 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Guntherdog - United States Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 57768 You deserved it 4042 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By areyoukiddingme - United States Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 31376 You deserved it 6657 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Why Me? - United States - Scranton Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML I agree, your life sucks 29438 You deserved it 5256 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hinting - United States - Dearborn Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML I agree, your life sucks 76354 You deserved it 4568 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mira - 13/3/2021 17:01 Values Today, I told my mom I was leaving early to give my boyfriend a ride to work. She asked me why on Earth I’m even attracted to someone who doesn’t have a car. FML I agree, your life sucks 860 You deserved it 351 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TragicallyAnxious Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML I agree, your life sucks 1376 You deserved it 599 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By disgusted - United States - Clarksville Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 25493 You deserved it 3221 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Miss_Whipped | 43 #7624481 - Wednesday 18 April 2018 19:05 I would say you deserve it just for the sheer irony of the situation. :^) Send a private message 31 0 Reply
By Zekfen | 17 #7624483 - Wednesday 18 April 2018 19:10 Maybe if you finish reading the book you’ll find out who did it! Send a private message 26 1 Reply
By Miss_Whipped | 43 #7624481 - Wednesday 18 April 2018 19:05 I would say you deserve it just for the sheer irony of the situation. :^) Send a private message 31 0 Reply
By Zekfen | 17 #7624483 - Wednesday 18 April 2018 19:10 Maybe if you finish reading the book you’ll find out who did it! Send a private message 26 1 Reply
By RipperoniPizza | 19 #7624485 - Wednesday 18 April 2018 19:18 "Ironic" Send a private message 1 3 Reply
By manb91uk | 22 #7624492 - Wednesday 18 April 2018 19:24 You didn't just read it - you lived it!! Send a private message 9 1 Reply
By Glowworm56 | 25 #7624516 - Wednesday 18 April 2018 20:06 Good thing you weren't reading "Fahrenheit 451." The book would have been on fire! Send a private message 5 1 Reply
By Lobby_Bee | 17 #7624522 - Wednesday 18 April 2018 20:10 What kind of piece of shit steals a worthless book? Send a private message 1 7 Reply
By jkjorn | 15 #7624523 - Wednesday 18 April 2018 20:15 Now this is the kind of stuff Alanis Morissette should've put in the song! Send a private message 3 1 Reply
By DragonMaiden7 | 15 #7624525 - Wednesday 18 April 2018 20:16 To be fair, it is a great book Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By Donut_Wizard | 23 #7624530 - Wednesday 18 April 2018 20:27 Why did you fall asleep in public in the first place. You might as well have worn a sign that said “Hey, come steal from me!” Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By Cubanloverllera | 12 #7624569 - Wednesday 18 April 2018 21:46 hilariously ironic Send a private message 2 0 Reply
Today, my husband decided it's completely fine to walk around the house with his penis out in front of his mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 286 You deserved it 30 7 Comments
Today, I found out that a burglar broke into my house. Since I didn't have expensive stuff for them to steal, they took my Fleshlight. FML I agree, your life sucks 440 You deserved it 84 2 Comments