Animals: Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling...

By sleepy - 23/12/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 191

You deserved it 5 931

Animals

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 20:30

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 3 354

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5am to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 115

You deserved it 622

By Username - 05/11/2010 22:02 - France

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 022

You deserved it 3 626

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 377

You deserved it 4 657

By feels like an asshole - 09/06/2015 20:03 - United States

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 318

You deserved it 3 203

By Cat Piss - 15/12/2013 16:58 - United States - Lavon

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 664

You deserved it 6 874

By idiot - 19/11/2016 06:48 - United States - Wausau

Today, while I was reading on my tablet, my dog wanted to be let outside, so I set down the tablet and let her outside. I returned to the living room to continue reading when I heard a crunch. The tablet had fallen to the floor and I'd stepped on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 787

You deserved it 2 775

By Brinty - 16/09/2009 02:43 - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 4 553

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 811

You deserved it 7 797

Good night, sleep tight

By jjkk - 23/01/2021 05:02

Today, I have been trying to stop sleeping during the day, so I decided to clean my room to keep myself awake. Four hours later, I woke up on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 126

Kervik 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 12:55

If you're that tired, stop reading the book and get some sleep.

Kervik 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 13:03

I've never read a book boring enough to make me repeatedly fall asleep.

Comments

revolutionnnn 2

Wednesday 23 December 2009 12:09

Thats unlucky about the dog. But what is so hard about reading a book?

DwayneHoover 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 20:29

Narcolepsy fail.

tom9686 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 12:22

just ask a class mate what the book is about, if you cbf reading it.

Lia_Mackenzie 4

Thursday 24 December 2009 19:01

cbf? What?

Icyyy 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 4:37

Can't Be Found? Ahh, I have no idea.

itouchguy360 3

Wednesday 23 December 2009 12:49

maybe the op had a terrible night sleep?

Kervik 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 12:55

If you're that tired, stop reading the book and get some sleep.

McCannCanTriple 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 13:00

The book could be boring. School selections tend to be.

Kervik 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 13:03

I've never read a book boring enough to make me repeatedly fall asleep.

Poke_my_mon 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 14:05

Read "A Prayer for Owen Meany".... If you can get through chapter one without sleeping... I'll find you and give you fifty bucks. Feel free to drink Red Bull, Monster or whatever. They can't save you.

waterynuggets 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 14:32

lmao

Trevv 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 23:03

Yeah I've fallen asleep reading school books before. Then again, I just got back from a Friday night track practice...

Icyyy 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 4:38

D;< What happened to coffee, people?

Danny0522 8

Tuesday 25 October 2011 1:07

9 I fell asleep while reading a summary of that book

mushoo_fml 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 15:33

Sucky advice, dog or no dog.

lollipop217 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 16:31

there's this magical thing called caffeine, it works for most people...

Tigg3r 3

Wednesday 23 December 2009 17:08

agreed #13. Oh yes OP? Tell your dog I said he is a very good boy/girl and that he/she shouldn't be punished for his/her owner's stupidity. I don't know if the dog is a boy or girl so yeah... I seriously hope it's a boy though.

blastvortex 3

Wednesday 23 December 2009 17:23

Perhaps reading with a hot iron sitting on your lap would've been smarter. I also wonder that, if he'd told you that wolverines made good house pets, you might believe him. xD Now that's what I call a reality check - rude awakening, go!