Today, I was cleaning off my couch so my nephew could crash here for a few nights. It's been so long since we've sat on it that it is now inhabited by rats we didn't know were in the house, including newly-born ones. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally moved in with me, after being long distance for months. Our apartment just became infested with mice. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
Today, I finally put away two weeks worth of clean laundry, only to get to the bottom of the pile and find mice droppings. I now have to wash my whole wardrobe, bed linen, and towels with disinfectant (On top of sanitising my furniture and floors). FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, despite the fact that I live with my parents and pay rent, my mom decided the best spot for my brother, his wife and one-year-old son was my bedroom. So I'm sleeping on the couch, because it would, "take too long to clean her room." FML
Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML
Today, I had to move down to the third floor because after complaining about rats on my rooftop the landlord put down traps. The rats died. Flies came. The flies laid eggs. The eggs birthed maggots. The maggots rained down from my broken ceiling into my bed and all over my floor. I'm not okay. FML
Today, I had to clean out my husband's brother's room as he is moving. The room was filled with childish toys, mould and years of dust covered everything. Behind and under every piece of furniture were earwax encrusted cotton swabs, hundreds of them. Oh yeah, he's moving in with us. FML
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Top comments
zinoxity 23
I'm very curious as to how you managed to avoid using said couch for THAT long. Either way, that's kind of funny. Good luck with the rats, OP!
WinterChild 20
I'm going to take a wild guess here.. I bet he didn't end up sleeping on that couch.
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Comments (31)
draghkar 18
Well, Florida...
GhostFox 34
Hey, rats aren't usually the problem here! In houses or furniture, it's bats. Or bees. Or snakes or raccoons. Sometimes gators in yards or ground floors. ...I guess rats are actually the safer options here...
ryzzostar 16
don't forget our huge palmetto bugs...
corky1992 33
How dirty is your house?
obeykaitlyn 25
I'm surprised you didn't notice any bad odors every time you walked into the living room
great_nate 26
Florida!
mixedupminx 8
that is disgusting! you can't let anyone sleep on that, they can catch serious diseases, like leptospirosis
eyepuppy 31
I don't know how this is anything but you deserve it.
amypr 20
I came here to make that exact same comment. Verbatim. Glad to see someone likeminded.
ashlyrose45 12
YDI for being a slob
baristalbc 18
Time to clean up
woodmr13 9
Burn it
soulreaper12296 28
I want to know how you went that long without using to the point that rats have infested it; and how you didn't notice the rats in the first place.