Today, while I was reading on my tablet, my dog wanted to be... - FML

By idiot - 19/11/2016 06:48 - United States - Wausau

Today, while I was reading on my tablet, my dog wanted to be let outside, so I set down the tablet and let her outside. I returned to the living room to continue reading when I heard a crunch. The tablet had fallen to the floor and I'd stepped on it. FML

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True hero

Doomed

This is fine

By Anonymous - 21/9/2020 13:58

My new friend

Today, I realized at the train station that every day for a month, I've been waving to a cardboard cut-out of a person in the morning. I thought they were real. They're cardboard. FML

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By tgpgs - 19/1/2011 14:55

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

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By Richard - 25/6/2012 03:03 - United States - Uxbridge

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

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By and not even in the good way - 30/3/2014 20:36 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

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By JoanT - 31/8/2020 20:01 - United States - Kailua Kona

Bed of nails

Today, my boyfriend’s bed is so uncomfortable that even after six months of not seeing him, I’m sleeping on the floor so I can actually get some sleep. FML

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By Canonlizardjet - 13/2/2017 08:00 - United States - Ormond Beach

Today, I had a near-death experience. Went to print a document and a lizard shot out of the printer right out at me. Gives a whole new meaning to a Canon printer, a fricking lizard Canon. FML

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By Lala - 8/12/2015 08:30 - United States - Denver

Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML

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By kp - 3/9/2015 16:30 - United States

Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/5/2015 16:06 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

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By loner - 7/6/2009 12:28 - United States

Today, I was sitting in class when the most popular girl in my grade came up to me holding birthday invitation cards. I've never been invited to a birthday party, so I was so excited when she handed me a card only to hear her say, "Mary is on your bus, will you give this to her?" FML

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By Anonymous - 24/9/2020 23:03 - Canada

Red flags

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was really excited to meet his brother, since his brother is his best friend. One of the first questions his brother asked me was, "He did tell you he isn't the handsome brother, right?" Followed by, "You aren't a feminist are you?" FML

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By Anonymous - 3/1/2011 17:36 - United States

Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML

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By STOPTAKINGPICTURES - 8/7/2013 23:45 - United States - New York

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/8/2020 20:06

Big boomer energy

Today, my father-in law-shared his opinion that autistic kids should be beaten until they act normal. He saw fit to share this while my autistic son was having a meltdown because my father-in-law came to the house without warning, and my son violently hates visitors without prior warning. FML

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By susiedoggles - 5/11/2018 08:00 - United States - Milford

Today, getting home after a long day of work, my boyfriend came running out of the house. Being silly, I thought he was excited to see me. Nope - he was excited to show me the squirrel he shot. In the house. Apparently, we have house squirrels and a boatload of holes in the floor and couch. FML

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By mylovelifeisanepicfail - 12/3/2015 13:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I discovered that the man I have been talking to on a dating site is actually my ex-boyfriend. He created a fake profile and made me fall for someone that doesn't exist. We got on better anonymously than we ever did in 3 years together. FML

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By shawty_x - 26/4/2009 12:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

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By thehumanshield - 5/8/2011 08:41 - United States

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

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By Out of Ice Cream - 29/9/2015 17:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He did it over Snapchat because he said he didn't want to hear me sad over the phone and wanted to save data. Three years down the drain. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/3/2020 15:00

Crossed Wires

Today, while on Grindr, I saw that this guy I'm friends with and have liked for a while now had messaged me. I got all excited, just for it to be a picture of him flipping me off. FML

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By thankzbabe - 4/1/2012 12:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/8/2013 01:28 - United States - Marietta

Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML

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By Traumatized - 5/3/2011 19:57 - Israel

Today, my coworker returned the camera I lent her. After plugging the camera into my PC, I saw a file was still on it. Wanting to make sure I didn't delete something important, I opened it. To my horror, it was a video of my coworker pleasuring herself. She's old enough to be my mother. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/5/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

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By LacrosseFAIL - 16/7/2016 22:33 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, after a long day at work, I walked into my room with the lights off and jumped on my bed. At least I would've if I haven't rearranged my room and instead face-planted onto my desk. FML

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By realitybites - 8/7/2013 17:03 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

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By sad face - 7/3/2012 19:25 - Canada

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

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By allidoiswrkwrkwrknomttrwht - 23/10/2016 15:59

Today, I found out my request to have off on Thanksgiving for the first time in 6 years was denied, because I work the evening shift every year on Thanksgiving and that's convenient for everyone else. FML

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By the next james herriot - 10/9/2013 23:30 - United States - Laurel

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

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By leahrb - 24/2/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

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By don't get paid enough for this - 11/7/2015 02:20 - United States - Youngstown

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML

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By Username - 24/11/2010 01:40 - United States

Today, I woke up early and went to the dermatologist's, only to have them tell me that the skin condition I have that causes big, white spots to appear is chronic and I can do nothing about it. But they did give me cream for a different skin condition they found. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/4/2009 16:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

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By poohanne - 12/1/2013 06:36 - United States - Ville Platte

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

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By Lisaaa - 27/10/2010 11:47 - Canada

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

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By Anonymous - 15/6/2009 04:48 - Australia

Today, my grandpa died. I decided to call my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit: "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML

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By BluBaller - 6/4/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML

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By 751920 - 3/2/2009 08:49 - Canada

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

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By PissedOff - 26/1/2017 14:25

Today, my husband sent me a short video of my snoring last night because I wanted to hear how bad I sound. The first few seconds went by OK, but for the rest of the clip I could barely hear anything else over the sound of my husband taking a long piss in our bathroom. FML

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By Liam. - 1/2/2010 05:15 - France

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

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Top comments

By xxDeeStar | 27

#6716424 - Saturday 26 November 2016 3:43

Stop being so harsh people, not everyone's life has to be full of wars, stressful bosses, homelessness, etc, for it to be a FML moment. And tablets are expensive, so breaking something expensive IS an FML moment because not everyone's pockets are full of money.

Everyone has their own experiences, don't compare or judge.

And also, it's easy to miss something you've dropped on the floor. It's happened to EVERYONE. So OP does NOT deserve it. Jeez, that stuff is just human.

By emeraldisle | 30

#6716406 - Saturday 26 November 2016 3:02

Oh I cringed when I read that. Sorry OP.

COMMENTS

By emeraldisle | 30

#6716406 - Saturday 26 November 2016 3:02

Oh I cringed when I read that. Sorry OP.

By RichardPencil | 28

#6716407 - Saturday 26 November 2016 3:04

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

RichardPencil | 28

#6716419 - Saturday 26 November 2016 3:28

Did you see the fml from yesterday?

Reply

cj89898 | 24

#6716521 - Saturday 26 November 2016 11:36

I mean, hey I might get downvoted but I liked this connection! Could've been worded better but nice!

By Hippohighasakite | 21

#6716409 - Saturday 26 November 2016 3:11

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Xelabasat | 14

#6716414 - Saturday 26 November 2016 3:15

Fuck you

Reply

wolfheartmoon | 12

#6716417 - Saturday 26 November 2016 3:21

my mom's been dead for almost three years.

Reply

trollcrusher | 17

#6716462 - Saturday 26 November 2016 5:53

Fool me once... shame on me. Screw it, you made me chuckle, so have a thumbs up.

By wolfheartmoon | 12

#6716415 - Saturday 26 November 2016 3:19

OP here, I thankfully found someone selling a kindle fire tablet in town for just $30 within the same week as breaking the featured one. The downside was having to repurchase a couple drmed books.

Reply

Spongegar123 | 19

#6716423 - Saturday 26 November 2016 3:41

If this really is OP you're a retard. How did you not even see your tablet when it was on the floor?

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wolfheartmoon | 12

#6716436 - Saturday 26 November 2016 4:40

black tablet, dark green carpeting, light not on in the hallway, tablet in shadow of chair. and ya know what, I agree it was dumb. I should have set it in the table or something.

Reply

wolfheartmoon | 12

#6716437 - Saturday 26 November 2016 4:43

plus, I wasn't watching the floor, I thought the tablet was still in the chair

By Spongegar123 | 19

#6716421 - Saturday 26 November 2016 3:39

How did you not see your tablet on the floor? YDI

By xxDeeStar | 27

#6716424 - Saturday 26 November 2016 3:43

Stop being so harsh people, not everyone's life has to be full of wars, stressful bosses, homelessness, etc, for it to be a FML moment. And tablets are expensive, so breaking something expensive IS an FML moment because not everyone's pockets are full of money.

Everyone has their own experiences, don't compare or judge.

And also, it's easy to miss something you've dropped on the floor. It's happened to EVERYONE. So OP does NOT deserve it. Jeez, that stuff is just human.

Reply

xxDeeStar | 27

#6716512 - Saturday 26 November 2016 9:43

Aw aha, no problem at all. <3
Thank you for your comment Alan! :)

By ber4fun | 23

#6716605 - Saturday 26 November 2016 19:26

Wow that sucks, I've stepped on my tablet before but I must not be heavy enough to crush it to bits.

Reply

Wsparta | 26

#6716626 - Saturday 26 November 2016 20:40

I thought the same sort of thing when I read this.

Reply

wolfheartmoon | 12

#6716666 - Sunday 27 November 2016 0:06

it was still "usable" (as in turned on and showed the display correctly) but I mostly used it for reading so the spider webs of cracks were really distracting.

By cats1234 | 15

#6716671 - Sunday 27 November 2016 1:03

You can get a more durable tablet for reading called a book... Give it a try some time ?

Reply

MathiasGrim | 2

#6717716 - Tuesday 29 November 2016 21:50

did you know a tablet can contain theoretically infinite books while taking up infinitely less space

By middlenamefrank | 8

#6717248 - Monday 28 November 2016 16:16

Pick up the debris in the living room, watch where you're walking, and don't be so careless with your expensive toys. The passive voice in the phrase "The tablet had fallen to the floor" doesn't make it the tablet's fault for falling on the floor, it's your fault for not putting it somewhere safe.