Today, I went with my boyfriend to the OC Fair. He was taking a picture of me in front of a giant mechanical butterfly at the insect exhibit. Playfully, he told me to pretend to be a butterfly, so I quickly lifted my arms, just in time to slap a 7 year-old girl in the face. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML
Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML
Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML
Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML
Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML
Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML
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Top comments
crisspz 4
butterfly's are supposed to be graceful....
Fahrenheit63 5
this is called 'Butterfly Effect'
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Comments (74)
BeautifulDemonKP 4
did that once and she was ok for 20 seconds then started cryin it was hilarious and painful to watch.
mrahhhhh 21
I know how the both hilarious and painful thing feels... Once I was at Knotts Berry Farm waiting in line for a roller coaster and was drinking water from a bottle. I finished it and started doing the trick where you tighten the bottle to build pressure, then quickly release the cap to "shoot" it. I made sure to aim at the part of the waiting area that had no people (there were not many people that day) and shot it there. However, by sheer horrible luck, it managed to hit a wooden post and ricochet back, hitting some 6 year old boy square in the forehead! He was also fine for about 5 seconds, and then started bawling. At first I just turned away hoping not to get caught, but then I wanted to apologize (my friends made me too). At this point I was shocked and amazed at my bad luck, and just turned around and apologized to the kid's mom and the kid himself repeatedly. They said it was ok, also repeatedly/ Then the full gravity of the situation hit me, and I just started simultaneously feeling terrible and feeling like laughing. I ended up turning around and giggling like some deranged maniac for about 5 minutes, thinking of how I shot a bottle and managed to hit a kid in the forehead while aiming the other way. My friends thought I was a jerk but goddamn if it wasn't hilarious. If I got shot the same way I'd be laughing too. The funny thing is that my friends forgot about it like 20 minutes later, and to this day I still get a guilty laugh out of being one of the few who ever shot a 6 year old in the forehead with a bottle while aiming the opposite way at an open window. Plus his face was priceless :) .
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
tl:dr!!!!
allard 14
Cool story bro.. No, really, it was!
Foppe 9
I was thinking tl;dr, then saw 16 votes, decided to read, and it was funny as hell :) Edit: not that hell is funny...
mrahhhhh 21
Looks like the Monarch from Venture Brothers has a challenger for the title of most hilarious butterfly related villainy! :)
dreamering 16
Good thing you remember to ask the girl about her age
_daniellesays_ 10
wow.. Haha good point .
sourgirl101 29
I could look at a child and estimate their age. I would say many could, all you need to do is compare them with another child you know around that age.(: Especially when they're missing their baby teeth.(:
mrahhhhh 21
#15: Unlike other situations, asking about age won't help prevent possible jail time though :) .
LizzJizz 16
Roflmao poor girl
LizzJizz 16
Roflmao poor girl
sourgirl101 29
Come my lady Come come my lady you're my butterfly Sugar.baby *whack*
Arch27 27
Crazytown reference FTW.
band_geek 18
Hence why you should look around before doing anything someone close to you asks you to do something so that you don't hit anyone, including children.
thetrollyoulike 6
how is this an FML? you got to hit a little girl! lol
Mumbuster 2
lol #27 you jsut made my day xD