Sex, Food and Intimacy: Unexpected arousal

Unexpected arousal

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 22:46 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 832

You deserved it 12 329

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Same thing different taste

Flustration

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 18:00

Today, I got flustered by the gorgeous sandwich artist at Subway and ordered a “meat-long foot-ball.” On Rye of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 245

By Shoofly - 04/03/2011 22:54 - United States

Today, while at Subway, I looked on as an employee killed a fly with his hands. He then continued working without a second thought. He was making my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 941

You deserved it 4 252

Turned on

By Anonymous - 31/03/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 532

You deserved it 11 121

By /(•'_'•)\ - 07/09/2013 16:59 - United States - Ballwin

Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 886

You deserved it 3 833

By Anonymous - 31/08/2019 06:03 - United States - New York

Today, while working at Subway, I was called a "terrorist" and other names by a customer 'behind my back'. I made him the best sandwich I'd ever made, in order to leave a good impression. Then I had to say the wonderful words, "Your total is $9.11." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 193

You deserved it 148

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 823

You deserved it 3 906

"I'm horny, horny horny horny"

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 23:01

Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 3 058

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 11/12/2015 20:24 - United States - Porter

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 606

You deserved it 4 705

Get back here!

By matte - 30/03/2009 12:16 - Australia

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 553

You deserved it 4 922

By FriutlessApple - 11/10/2013 15:18 - United Kingdom

Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 556

You deserved it 11 104

JoeGrant 12

Wednesday 21 August 2013 9:37

Hey, the way they lay that meat on there, sexy as anything else.

frozenfreeze 5

Wednesday 21 August 2013 9:39

There's a reason it's called the $5 footlong.

Comments

Racky_fml 14

Wednesday 21 August 2013 9:46

It must've been really fresh then.

ibmike22 13

Wednesday 21 August 2013 9:48

Been there. Something about the way she handles the meat and squirts the mayo...

sniper4613 13

Wednesday 21 August 2013 9:51

It's the sandwich trust me I've been there before

Hutch1965 6

Wednesday 21 August 2013 23:42

You have been turned on by a sandwich from Subway? How sad I am for you right now.

SweetJTBR 22

Wednesday 21 August 2013 9:51

Sexual tingles. This is the best FML I've ever read.

woainishamu 21

Wednesday 21 August 2013 10:04

Train yourself not to have those tingles.

Pesticides 19

Wednesday 21 August 2013 10:52

who are you to deny pleasure of the best kind from the joy of a sandwich?

cosicosei 22

Wednesday 21 August 2013 10:17

The angel says control.. But the devil screams INDULGE!

mimaa91 2

Wednesday 21 August 2013 10:18

Dafuq did I just read lol

_streets_ 19

Wednesday 21 August 2013 10:21

Its those footlongs..there is just something about em.

thatonegirlnic 10

Wednesday 21 August 2013 10:27

Price of a sandwich: $5 Finding out you are turned on by a sandwich: priceless

CDobs 8

Wednesday 21 August 2013 10:43

Subway? I mean, if you were at Quiznos I would understand...

martin8337 35

Thursday 22 August 2013 1:04

Or Lenny' s .

Keywords

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Today, my hair got stuck in my umbrella. I asked for help from passers-by, but all I got was weird looks as they hurried past me. FML

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I agree, your life sucks 12 316

You deserved it 3 959

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 977

You deserved it 2 744

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I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 207

Today, I met this really nice guy at the mall and he gave me his number. Later that night, I texted him. We got on the subject of food, and I started talking about how much I love veal. He responded with saying I was supporting animal murder, that I should go to hell and lose his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 092

You deserved it 20 648

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I agree, your life sucks 35 183

You deserved it 3 139