Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "Uh-huh," "Not too bad," and "Yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing, besides for the fact I barely felt him. I pretty much faked the entire thing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
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Top comments
droidlover 14
Not too bad.
jajajapun 5
yup
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Comments (171)
Javier6597 19
Why would someone deserve this??
drewflav 17
See the first comment, that's why.
Poppipuff 14
Maybe they think op should have stopped and asked him what was his problem instead of waiting for him to finish and then post an fml about it.
Rougeee 6
If it was his first time then he probably didn't know what to say. If its a habit that sucks even more!
Zimmington 21
since he said "Not that bad" I'm guessing he had something to compare it to.
bosox29 14
Probably his hand...
TaniasaysFMLL 15
Don't worry, OP. It'll get better once you do it more often.
salazara 10
Well it was the 'first time'
hcollins1 18
Just because they had sex 'for the first time' doesn't necessarily mean it was their very FIRST time having sex period. She would've clarified if it was their actual 'first' time.
salazara 10
Look up the word 'FIRST' in the dictionary - I say no more!
Zimmington 21
140- Good because you need to stop talking.
hcollins1 18
Ok and? The dictionary isn't telling me that it was their very first time. She's saying it's THEIR first time TOGETHER. Not the very first time EVER having sex. Hope I cleared it up. :)
chris4u2nv5 19
That's right, shut and take it. You wanted it. uh-huh.....
jkmartinjk 16
Um I think that's rape.....
davikiin 6
Weird. I'm not a very big vocalizer, so it's odd to hear "moaning like a normal person"
Hiimhaileypotter 52
So you just lay there? Lol.
illegalbeagle69 23
Haha just made me think of Eddie Murphy Delirious, sorry if you don't have a clue what I'm talking about.
davikiin 6
Nah... I'm more the intense/aggressor type. Moaning is too... Sub.
VictorianBabe 8
Aaawww.... Poor baby.
JRSOne 5
Maybe I'm wrong but I understood it was THEIR first time as a couple. Not ever. He could just be nervous even if he's been with others but first time with you. If first time EVER hes probably SUPER NERVOUS. Need to try one more time if its STILL awkward... Run. That lack of emotion during the largest expression of emotions makes me think he could suffer from psychopathy.
challan 19
Or he was just trying to last by thinking of something else.
truesarrif 33
Tommy Lasorda in a thong bikini works every time
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
Actually in this case, lack of emotion doesn't indicate psychopathy. Due to the nature of psychopathy people affected tend to enjoy sex very much, be promiscuous and think very highly of themselves and their sexual abilities so his reaction is isn't indicitve of that. More likely his flat affect has to do with nervousness, an attempt to prevent premature ejaculation or he's just a douchebag.
MagicStallion 9
I love that in depth response for ages and then suddenly at the end, "or he's just a douchebag" xD
mosquito19 14
he was talking to his imaginary friend about getting laid while he was still inside you. so technically he had a 3 some
laaryssa 21
Talk to him about it. COMMUNICATION
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
idk why youre getting thumbed down... op needs to talk about her issue w this problem. so yes communication.although that is the issue... later after sex op needs to bring it back up and discuss it with her partner... youre suppose to be best friends w ur partner... so open up and talk about things.
arroberts 10
She's probably getting thumbs down because communication is exactly what OP doesn't want.. lol.