Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "Uh-huh," "Not too bad," and "Yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing, besides for the fact I barely felt him. I pretty much faked the entire thing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
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Top comments
droidlover 14
Not too bad.
jajajapun 5
yup
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Comments (171)
wowthatissad 9
I'm sorry, but just the thought of somebody doing this is actually quite hilarious
Rodville 28
I read that and my first thought was office space. Yeah that's the spot. That's great.
mld4657 28
Ok so I'm reading more of these comments about their "embarrassing" moments in sex. Everyone guess what tell your partner one night stand lover whoever that it's just not working for you.. Communication at the point
ElTigre995 4
yup! yup! yup! yup! yup! ohhhhhh yuuuuup! *sigh* yup...
vintaqe 28
I wouldn't have been able to continue due to the urgency to laugh to the point of tears.
MadisonDerp 16
This reminds me of Hank from King Of The Hill
jecka 9
That is pretty awkward.
mistress99 5
dump him. NOW
pepsi_ftw 13
Ahaha I wouldn't be able to take it seriously and start laughing I'm sorry.
WhiteCrimson 23
How can anyone say YDI, the guy clearly sampled the product and by the looks of it he was satisfied with the results..... OP tell him to evaluate in his head next time