Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML
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Top comments
old09 11
They're invisible I swear!
rattusrattus 19
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP! You can't let your boyfriend know that you're a human being with bodily functions! He will never want one of those! Your relationship is doomed! *clutches pearls, swoons*
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Comments (68)
fadingaway 17
Oh man, this brings back memories. I used the genius line, "It was the floor". I was silly back then. Just be comfortable with yourself, OP. Excuse yourself and laugh it off.
JanisEvans 10
You guys sure for to the comfortable stage fast. ;) Don't worry, if he likes you he won't mind. Very early in our relationship my bf farted in his sleep, waking himself up. He turned over instantly checking if I was still asleep. I pretended I was and giggled on the inside. I thought it was adorable.
notjanedoe 27
I'm getting a bit tired of fart stories. Everybody does it, the human body produced a lot of gas in a day and it has to get out somehow. If people wouldn't make such a big freaking deal out of it and act like they just shat on the table or something then it wouldn't be half as embarrassing.
cmbar831 14
Your username explains it all
80sgurl 15
It's natural, if he don't like it, he's just a hypocrite.
Shrike 24
Um, WHAT? He didn't even SAY anything, so how's he a hypocrite?! OP's embarrassed about farting, end of story.
outoftown 27
Now, now, don't be so harsh. Some natural functions are an acquired taste. ;) But since OP is terrible at lying, she must hope he acquires this one fast.
Suks2beeme 7
He should be glad to have a girlfriend so bad at lying. Too many women are very good at lying.
_krystallynn_ 11
dont feel bad. i was sitting on my boyfriends lap and he tickled me and i ripped one. most embarrassing moment ever. i was with all my friends too. you just have to learn to laugh it off and go on.
BrashlyHonest20 4
I fart openly practically all the time, not at work mind you. Point is, everybody has gas. it's not a huge issue.
Kingbreezy04 10
If I were him I would have been outraged, scared, and upset at the same time. Women DO NOT fart. Nobody has ever witnessed this said phenomena. He should have gotten that on tape, because nobody will believe him.
KiddNYC1O 22
You just couldn't let the ice break, couldn't ya?
TheFMLposts 2
LMFAOO