Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML
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Top comments
old09 11
They're invisible I swear!
rattusrattus 19
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP! You can't let your boyfriend know that you're a human being with bodily functions! He will never want one of those! Your relationship is doomed! *clutches pearls, swoons*
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Comments (68)
FaygoAndMiracles 18
YDI for lying. People lie too much these days. D:
perdix 31
Your Christian Poo-poo-tins, perhaps? I'll bet your face was as red as your sole.
ulissey_fml 22
You killed his romantic dream: R.I.P
RedD12 3
The fart barrier has been broken!!!
MDTeddy 13
Really? Some people are insanly stupid. You know that you aren't wearing shoes.
charvisioku 22
Why would you even bother to lie? xD He shouldn't be arsed :)
sugarbear0727 19
Horrible lie. I just laugh and say excuse me. I've become extremely comfortable with my boyfriend, and he's the same with me. We blame our farts on each other as a joke. Its natural.
EmSalt10503 5
it was literally a year before I farted in front of my girlfriend and I regret it everyday.. she is now completely comfortable doing the same in front of me....
Da_burn 6
At least it wasn't a queef...
HomoIndomitus 4
Next time, blame him for the fart. The best defense is a good offense.