Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML
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Top comments
old09 11
They're invisible I swear!
rattusrattus 19
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP! You can't let your boyfriend know that you're a human being with bodily functions! He will never want one of those! Your relationship is doomed! *clutches pearls, swoons*
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Comments (68)
erockinthesuburb 17
Most people would blame the dog, and not shoefarts.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Not everybody has a dog. For all we know, OP could have a fish! Blame the fish perhaps?
erockinthesuburb 17
Wouldn't there be bubbles then? lol
dontpanic_fml 32
Hate to tell you this darlin, but having shoes on wouldn't have made your excuse hold up much better.
exodius06 7
You shouldn't have tried to explain it that way but most guys are just going to find it hilarious.
Heather645 5
Z
SoSickWithIt 14
Guys. Comment of the decade here.^
DanielleinDC 34
As the Reformed ****** sing, Girls poop too. And they fart.
CheeseHater 23
I hate it when people are embarrassed about natural functions, for example farts or burps. That has to be the biggest turn-off in history. YDI for being one of those assholes.
unknown_user5566 27
41- Wait. Someone being embarrassed by something makes them an asshole? You should be embarrassed by the lack of logic in that theory. Now, what does that make you?
Kingbreezy04 10
41-I'm embarrassed because I hate going to pee. I'm I an asshole?
Justmeedotcom77 3
Just own up to it next time! No shame no game.
Suks2beeme 7
BREAKING THE BARRIER! Excellent
JinxedPixie 16
CUP OF CHEESE!
JinxedPixie 16
Breaking the barrier early, OP? ;) Hopefully it didn't scare him away, cuz *gasp* girls fart too!
Kitten_Calderon 14
Everybody farts.. Trust me when he is comfy enough to do it around you, it'll be worse