Poopoo peepee and Kids: Toilet training

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 347

You deserved it 2 771

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Same thing different taste

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 129

You deserved it 6 494

By Anonymous - 16/04/2016 07:16 - United States - Roscoe

Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 785

You deserved it 1 665

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 163

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 164

You deserved it 2 767

Creepypasta

By mrsekko - 31/05/2011 12:44 - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 852

You deserved it 5 290

Oh, hai Mark!

By lyle - 02/04/2021 08:00

Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 175

Barf

By sickatwokr - 30/06/2015 20:26 - Australia

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 947

You deserved it 1 867

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 429

You deserved it 4 435

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 114

You deserved it 7 545

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 08:03 - United States

Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 854

You deserved it 3 418

FlamingTacos 7

Sunday 22 April 2012 23:47

Tomorrow she'll be telling you how to do taxes.

skyeyez9 24

Sunday 22 April 2012 23:47

"Yay, mommy went potty!"

Comments

mk58 31

Monday 23 April 2012 0:17

This is an automatic favourite. What an adorable child! I'll admit, there are very few circumstances when I find children adorable - unless they're babies...

rattusrattus 18

Monday 23 April 2012 0:25

But babies look like Winston Churchill, if he were to ever decide that caustic wit would not be sufficient for dealing with Nye Bevin...

Trisha_aus 15

Monday 23 April 2012 0:23

I couldn't help but 'awe' :)

perdix 29

Monday 23 April 2012 0:23

Get the "Super Duper Pooper" video. That will help you be able to control your bowels as well as a three-year-old.

darkkisses 6

Monday 23 April 2012 0:24

Aw how adorable, it must be frustrating and gross because of the food poisoning, but at least you have a adorable daughter who loves you and wants to help you out. Feel better OP! ~K

bogan35 0

Monday 23 April 2012 0:29

not as much of a fml as it is a sentiment of how adorable your daughter is. but yea sorry about the food poisoning!!

rattusrattus 18

Monday 23 April 2012 0:32

Food poisoning makes it an FML. An adorable FML, but an FML. I once got food poisoning, so I feel for you, OP!

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 23 April 2012 1:34

You claiming it's "Not an FML" basically means you are blaming the moderators for doing their miserable job since early 2009. Try being a moderator for a day with idiots claiming "It's not an FML", moderating ones with horrible grammar, and dealing with you everyday.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 23 April 2012 1:39

...and by you, I mean us and the special lot of people that Sirin fawns over while trying to conquer Europe. I think I should stop before they kill me.