Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML
Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML
Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML
Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
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Top comments
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Urine trouble now OP
Cairo_Sanchez 8
That's nasty as hell! Sorry OP
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Comments (93)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Urine scented Windex.
KiddNYC1O 22
Peebreeze.
KingCeltic77 18
This is why you roll up your windows and lock your doors.
dirton89 7
Well... At least it's all natural
SkoomaKi 28
+1 for environmental awareness!
FlyingPie 17
What a pisser.
ICastillo 25
Well if urine can cure athletes foot imagine how good it will clean your windows..
Spectre529 12
Oh that's nasty *in best Cleveland voice*
emilyjgraham 34
people probably would have read it in Cleveland's voice anyway :)
annie_nk 23
The window was wide open. Does that mean you got sprayed with the urine? Or did I read the FML wrong?
ICastillo 25
Nope you read it right he got sprayed right in the face with urine.
dathan 14
How would op know it smelled like urine otherwise...
annie_nk 23
*gag* Disgusting. I hope OP wasn't on his way to something important like a job interview.
pradip 26
That's when u throw some penny and say get the **** outta here. I always have a slight fear and discomfort when approached by such people .
unknown_user5566 27
I can understand the fear/discomfort, but to tell them to "get the **** out of here"? That seems pretty rude. A simple "no thank you" would probably be sufficient. And yes, I know, some homeless people are persistent. At that point it's best to just roll up your windows, lock your doors and ignore them to the best of your ability.
pradip 26
I wouldn't say "get the **** outta there" to every homeless person. I meant it in OP's situation.
opoopu 8
Why throw the penny? Why give anything at all, when you're already covered in urine? I'm mean. Yay.
emoshadow47 9
What in the world did you do wrong to deserve that >.
Shrike 24
Maybe he was an asshole once and blamed a victim, asking what they did to deserve the shitty thing that happened to them. I dunno, just a wild theory.
kimg0885 23
Don't worry op I'm sure the acid in the urine has some cleaning properties. No? Well that just pisses me off then!