Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to wax my own Brazilian. My housemate’s cat rolled onto a half-used wax strip on the floor. The poor cat now has a small, less-fluffy patch, and I still haven’t figured out how to wax myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML
Today, my dumbass cat sat on a lit candle. The whole house now smells like burnt hair and I now have to clip clumps of wax-burnt hair off his bum. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML
Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML
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Top comments
RowanNightShade 22
That poor cat. Fycl.
Enkeria 30
I'm sorry op. Maybe close the bathroom door next time? That almost happened to my dog. My sister wanted to experimenting on my dog after she did her legs but I was able to stop her. I hope your kitty fluffs out soon. :)
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Comments (97)
ffiguresskating 11
All jokes aside please take your cat to the vet. I know you don't want this lecture but I'm an animal major and that cream can be very toxic to your kitty. Hope all goes well OP
shewenttojareds 16
At least you now know it works (:
Shadow73 13
Pictures, or it didn't happen.
TheySaidWhat 9
Congratulations! You now own a sphinx cat (aka satan beast)
Silk_Routes 14
never experienced a half clean pussy!
AMcM_fml 21
I had almost lost faith in the FML community for the lack of pussy puns... thank you
emilytheperson 17
More life f your cats life!
inolongercare 19
Not gonna lie- that his hilarious. And a funny story. Tell your friends and post on Facebook. It will get laughs. Post on Imgur and Reddit far fake Internet points.
Domonator 16
LORD SIMBA: Today, I was affectionate to the human and it suddenly threw me in some water. Now, I'm so cold because half of my fur has fallen out. FML
thesmallwarriorr 19
At least you know it works? Sorry, OP. Poor kitty :(
LegionRapier61 8
Cats are ******* useless...