By earthlyscum - 19/05/2015 02:27 - United States - Tinley Park

Today, I woke up to my roommates "pet" snake casually lying in bed with me. I then got yelled at for screaming and scaring the snake. Apparently, it's my fault that it bit my chin. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 010
You deserved it 3 677

earthlyscum tells us more.

**** that, I'll eat the damn thing first

Top comments

How else were you supposed to react? It's a f@#king snake!

YDI for having such a delicious looking chin! ;)


Shipley18 17

You should find a new roommate

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**** that, I'll eat the damn thing first

Let us know how it tastes if you do, OP

AtherSheep 15

Nope, that's actually true. Snakes will size themselves against prey to make sure that they can actually eat and digest it without having any problems.

#61, I have not once seen any of my husbands 7 snakes lay out straight before striking. They all get close, coil up, follow the rat with only their head then strike and twist up around their prey.

That's if they are venomous if they are constrictors they will size you up

I don't think you know all that much about snakes

@61,107, 114, No, snakes do NOT measure themselves up against prey. They really only care if it will fit in their mouths, whether trying to eat it would be dangerous, and whether the animal matches their instinctive category for 'food.' And frankly they don't always succeed at the first two: find the picture of the Burmese Python in the everglades literally ripped apart from the inside by an oversized Gator it swallowed. Somewhere on the internet a herpetologist is crying. Go find him and apologize.

I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have time to "size up" their prey in the wild before constricting it.

Tsk tsk. Gosh OP. You TOTALLY should've been prepared about their loving "pet" snake wanting to cuddle with you... That little bite was TOTALLY just a love bite, and you had no reason to freak out... Smh, start looking for other roommates. That would've scared the shit out of me. I would be terrified to sleep after that incident lol...

#112, 7 snakes?! And you two actually watch them eat the mice?

Maybe, like me, they like watching small animals die.

MzZombicidal 36

#134, you want to make sure things go smoothly in a feeding so yeah, they probably watch them eat.

When it's mice they're fed, they wouldn't need to stretch .... But when it's an unusual prey, they behave differently before attacking

That's because it's more obvious they are bigger than the rat?


@114 - I have a boa and a python neither size up their meals. the python caresses with her nose. the boa strikes and rolls around in a very dramatic fashion. if they had to size up their prey in that fashion a snake would rarely eat since most animals when the animal that can eat they comes around leave in a quick fashion.

That's not a real thing. Pythons don't size things up before they eat it, they're used to their food trying to escape. They just eat it. That story was debunked years ago.

Incorrect. If pythons took the time to stretch themselves out next to a live animal they'd never get the chance to eat. Rats aren't going to stick around to be sized up, they're out of there.

idk my ball python likes to cuddles sometimes. Mostly because I'm warm and she's not LOL.

Sorry, not true! Snakes don't size up their food before eating. How would they ever eat? Birds and rodents aren't going to stick around for snakes to play measuring stick.

nameisname 12

I don't get why this has so many dislikes

Completely untrue. I have never seen any snake I have fed do this.

Never in my life seen a snake do that. Ever. I do know that snakes can eat anything they can fit their jaws around, so unless a snake is as big as the ones in the movie Anaconda (or a freely roaming Python in the wild anywhere) I highly doubt a snake kept as a pet has a big enough head to eat a person, even the big ol' Burmese pythons some people have.

assurant 12

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*snake, unless you want to eat him... Which probably wouldn't be a good idea.

I think the snake thought of op as a snack

If the snake wasn't native to the area then it could cause a world of ecosystem damage/unbalance

Depends on if there are more of them. It can't cause lasting damage unless it mates

True, but it could also eat a bunch of prey that another predator is dependant on, causing the predator to look for a new spot.


1 snake could not do damage to an ecosystem. snakes eat 1-4 times a month. and unless the species is already in the ecosystem it will not have the opportunity to mate. also if the snake was fed frozen vs live feed then it will struggle as it is not accustomed to hunting live food so it could die after a couple months. also the majority of snakes are fed white mice and if you feed them something other than white they won't accept it. so if they are picky in that sense they will not go after brown wild mice.

While I agree with most of the post, snakes introduced to a new ecosystem can and do cause damage. See Florida and Louisiana. A few too many people let their pets loose / lost track of them, and now Florida is overrun. They're eating crocs, pets, and the local wildlife and majorly damaging the eco system. It blows, I'd love to get in on the catching program to deal with it but I'm hours away.


@162 those are Burmese pythons which are extremely aggressive pythons and they grow exceptionally large and they have plenty opportunities to mate. or they are red tail boas. HOPEFULLY someone living most likely in an apartment would not house a snake that is capable of growing to 14' in length and literally being able eat a small child. however a ball python will never get large enough to eat anything bigger than maybe MAYBE a small rabbit. My Nicaraguan Dwarf boa also will not get large enough to do any damage. nor would any corn snakes, king snakes, or basic pet snakes. as a snake person I would personally be very afraid of my roommates pet if they had a Burmese. might as well have an anaconda both are not safe to have. Those people are irresponsible and cause so many problems.

As I own a ball python, I'm aware. I don't know what kind the roommate has, but I'm sayin with certain breeds, it's a possibility.

How else were you supposed to react? It's a f@#king snake!

pleasedie 22

Roommate obviously wanted OP to cuddle the snake like a newborn baby :p

Take a deep breath, and introduce your self. Today's society just wants to keep to themselves that we no longer speak to other. Maybe the snake wanted someone to hiss to..

It's okay, you can swear here, no need to self-censor

YDI for having such a delicious looking chin! ;)

iLike2Teabag 27

"I'm tired of these motherfuckin snakes biting my motherfuckin chin!" -OP, 2015

Judging from OP's profile pic, I don't blame the snake. I'd want to bite that chin too. =)

Was the snake not in a terrarium? If not, find a new roommate. Actually, find a new roommate either way.

#6 some snakes are clever enough to escape a well secured husbands milk snake was a regular Houdini.

Shit, if it was me that snake would've been lucky to be alive. Snakes are great to look at and observe not to cuddle with Fyl OP

actually quite a few snakes such as the boa constrictor love to cuddle you until it hurts...

lynadette 5

Boas are definitely cuddly!!! Those are the perfect 'relax to watch tv' snake because they just stay there snuggling :)

I'm sorry to hear that OP i would have been furious! I guess it's time to find a new room mate..

Putting "pet" in scare quotes just because it's not a pet you'd choose to own makes you seem like a "nice" person. Imagine someone offering their regards to your "family" and "significant other".

I completely agree. I have a ball python that is the sweetest thing. They can get scared and biting is one of their only defense mechanisms. Granted, the snake should never have been out of its terrarium, especially with someone who is clearly afraid of snakes.

i feel like they say "pet" like that because pets are normally kept in a tank/cage thing, and tame things arnt SUPPOSE to bite you. in other words, the snake was doing everything a pet isnt suppose to do. obviouly it only bit cause they screamed and scared it, and i do not believe it is normally agressive and not actually a wild snake. it just snuck out of its enclosment so im not bashing snakes at all. i like snakes and all, im just trying to shed some light on why op would be upset. a snake bit their chin!!

lynadette 5

Wonder what the OP's reaction would have been if "pet" had been a cat that scratched or a dog that chewed...

122 - i dont feel thats a fair comparison, you should say cat or dog BITE, because cats and dogs can bite just as well as snakes, and your giving a dog a wayyy less harsh action then what the snake done. it would not change the situation, it would actually be worse if a dog feircly bite a persons face, the scars! unless i read your comment out of context, and you mean what i mean.then cool

#154: I THINK maybe they're meaning something similar? There's all this freaking out and the implication it's not a real pet because it's a snake, whereas if it were a more common pet it wouldn't get the same reaction. You'd probably have far fewer people in the comments joking about killing said pet, too, I bet.

Most people don't consider snakes pets at all. If it was a dog or a cat, I bet the word "pet" would NOT have been in quotation marks. And there wouldn't have been so many jokes about killing the dog/cat because killing animals is a horrible thing to do, especially to someone's pet.

Your roommate sounds inconsiderate op, sorry

MattStro 23

I'm pretty sure you have every right to throw it out now.