Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML
Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML
Today, my parents decided to "discipline" my kitten by spraying her with water. This somehow managed to completely un-train her, and now she's back to being the compulsive biter she was when I first brought her home. FML
Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML
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Top comments
TryToBeKind 0
Your girlfriend is either a b**ch, or she is very thoughtless. I would keep this over her head for a long time
swagga0n1oo 0
maybe she is giving you a sign that she wants her "pussy" wet lol!
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Comments (154)
stickwoman 0
first!!!
warrenx16x 0
wow that sucks bro
george456 0
YDI for saying "Needless to say" then saying it anyway. jk, op that sucks. FYL
stickwoman 0
where's my comment? I demand to be answered :) I worked so hard to be first and my comment's been removed for some reason :(
stickwoman 0
anyone? Where's my first comment? Or am I the only one who can't see it?
slice_of_fried_g 0
this^ If it was truly needless you wouldn't say it. This is just one of the trillion reasons I can't read mlia anymore. Also, op, your girlfriend's nuts, heh.
LmaoLolRofl 0
aw too bad -.-
MINDKONTROLLED 0
I am the girlfriend! and what my gf left out was that she was standing behind a closed window; i did not get them wet! The kitten was just startled! IDI for not thinking, but I didn't actually get them wet! And i cleaned her scratches too! PS. for all you silly confused hillbillies who cannot wrap your head around the concept of a same sex relationship-yes we are gay. DUH
Alicia_Raven7 0
Aw...is the kitty ok?
killerviral 0
first and that must suck and sting
Mehness 0
Faaaiiillluuurreee
stickwoman 0
I'm first again. I beat you to it twice. Sorry again :(
stickwoman 0
sorry that comment was meant for the person above you. Stupid iPhone
stickwoman 0
I'm first again. I beat you to it twice. sorry again :(
Shady_R 0
No your not. FYL, get a real one.
stickwoman 0
where's my first comment?
girlygirl666 0
@ stickwoman-Who the **** cares?!
snakrange 0
cat scratch feva duh nuh nah!
rogeriskira 5
damn.. sucks
Gringe 1
She makes good decisions, that would be really funny!
TryToBeKind 0
Your girlfriend is either a b**ch, or she is very thoughtless. I would keep this over her head for a long time
shurayuki 0
you mean boyfriend?
Pmm368 5
No, girlfriend...the OP said girlfriend and yes, OP is a woman.
Sholloway 0
i'd tease her a lot about it, too.
Jimboom 12
It only classes as funny if she had a camcorder to capture the whole thing and then later put on youtube. Otherwise you owe her a punch in the ovaries!
roadie42 21
Poor you. Poor kitten. Yep, she's definitely a keeper.
ambrz 0
awh that's just mean!!
EllyH 0
Agreed!! I wonder how he pays back! haha
EllyH 0
she* even
BannedStory 0
i <3 ur pic o.o
EllyH 0
aww! Thank you!!!
swagga0n1oo 0
maybe she is giving you a sign that she wants her "pussy" wet lol!
mattmga 0
would be better without quotations
WHODATNATION 0
wow
hellokittywhore 0
15th lol jk my boyfriend did the same, the kitty was never the same again
SmokinGuns 13
Your name...wtf?