Cars, Awkward, Wanker and Intimacy: Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year-old in...

By whatnot - 04/08/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year-old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 616

You deserved it 3 261

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Same thing different taste

Pish yerself

By Carnage23 - 05/06/2016 12:38 - Germany - Herborn

Today, I was on a long road trip with my son. He had to pee, and told him he had to wait till I could stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 020

You deserved it 2 234

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 17:07 - South Africa

Today, I got a ride in a friend's car. As I sat down, her younger brother started laughing hysterically from the backseat. In between giggles, he admitted he peed there a few minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 654

You deserved it 2 815

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 747

You deserved it 14 091

By thoughtidseenitall - 02/02/2013 01:01 - United States - Englewood

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 462

You deserved it 4 025

Not now

By Wife - 08/08/2011 00:02 - United States

Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 460

You deserved it 6 650

What he is thinking?

By fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 297

By mrteacher - 21/08/2009 22:15 - United States

Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 221

You deserved it 47 272

Little twit

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 734

You deserved it 7 130

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 20:51 - United States

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 089

You deserved it 4 025

Don't get involved

By Joe - 13/09/2021 20:00

Today, some kid on the bus kept pissing me off, making fart jokes and singing the Peppa Pig theme song on repeat. Angrily, I confronted him and asked him if he was 7. He retaliated with, "Yeah, 7 inches deep in your MOM!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 970

SirBedevere 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:08

Well son, that's just how some men like to have a good time.

zinoxity 23

Thursday 4 August 2011 12:06

Let's hope your kid doesn't try it out.

Comments

briannac1 0

Friday 5 August 2011 4:48

Umm... They're playing Jack off.. Hopefully he won't say he wants to play!

fml_addict13 3

Friday 5 August 2011 8:08

LMFAO! That, OP, is hilarious. FYL.

skyorpia101 4

Friday 5 August 2011 8:20

Well mam congratulations, ur child has just witnessed gay ****

MrDbagManSir 3

Friday 5 August 2011 9:23

Damn it he saw me!

MrDbagManSir 3

Friday 5 August 2011 9:25

Just... shut up

NickAdenhart34 3

Friday 5 August 2011 9:37

The guy said., you wanna jam my traffic

Stylin_Since_97 10

Friday 5 August 2011 11:06

You must always have both hands on the steering wheel!!!! But the man obviously doesn't know that

pandaabear 2

Friday 5 August 2011 14:59

i obviously need to pay more attention to other cars when im on the highway

blackxxjesusxx 0

Friday 5 August 2011 22:37

Lol I read this and I screamed laughing my ass off

FailureFYL 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 5:38

Were they having sex?

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Family Kids Fight Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law Love Relationship advice Social Media Art Work Students Birds Animals Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception

The Top

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 180

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 654

The Top

Today, date night with my boyfriend. I had my makeup done, fake lashes, etc. He was staring at me and I’m thought, "Oh, he loves how my eyes look" so I started flirting a lot, fluttering my lashes. We then took a pic and saw my lashes were falling, so I asked, ”Were they like that the whole night?” He replied, “Yeah, it looked weird.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 426

Today, I was spending time with my affectionate pet rabbit. He was hanging out with me on my bed as usual. After I finished giving him a long and thorough head rub, he thanked me by emptying his bladder on my leg. What is that, marking me as his property? True affection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 247

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 261

You deserved it 5 910

Today, my sister was dumped by her boyfriend. As my mother was comforting her, I overheard her say "Honey, it's okay, you're the pretty one. Think of those worse off than you. Think of your sister, she might never get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 279

You deserved it 3 073

Today, my boss claimed that I've been lying to get days off because apparently nobody can be so unlucky as to have three family members die within a month. I'm just that unlucky, and suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 674

You deserved it 2 824

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 559

You deserved it 2 518