Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year-old guy. FML
Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
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Top comments
deathbreadstick 10
I don't get why your first thought was that it was a cockroach.
eurekaroy 6
Is your house nasty enough that cockroaches get in your bed :/
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Comments (179)
chinaDoll87 0
Aq
Jormantha 0
What was your necklace made of? Glass?
skyeyez9 25
years ago when our family went camping, I felt a tickle across my cheek......It was a very large wolf spider with lots of spider babies on its back. O.O
SteelCladAngel 0
I think I may have pissed my pants and cried like a colicky baby if I woke up because a wolf spider (any spider really) was crawling on my face carrying it's young D;
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I think I would have straight up passed out on the spot.
KB616 11
OH. MY. GOD. I am so terrified of spiders that I can't even look at pictures of them or see them on TV. If I had one on my face w/ it's babies... *shivers* I probably woulda damn near ripped my face off trying to get rid of it, thrown up, & had a heart attack. Holy shit that's gross!
icic6772 0
Let me guess you're blonde right?
MyLifeIsWierd 12
Please Try Again.
thinkingatheist 8
Maybe a cockroach is laughing it's ass off somewhere in your room, no? Bad joke? :(
BritLass 15
Maybe it just wasn't meant to be! :D
Mxpxdude189 0
no one has told you to not sleep with jewelry on? well this is the reason why...
bubo_fml 11
gotta git outa da ghetto!
Yarrachel 16
How does this happen? I could see swatting at the back of the necklace, but how does this action end with you ripping off the necklace and flinging it across the room?
creedaddict 9
Happened to me but it wasn't a neckless it was a huge bug