Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year-old guy. FML
Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
deathbreadstick 10
I don't get why your first thought was that it was a cockroach.
eurekaroy 6
Is your house nasty enough that cockroaches get in your bed :/
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (179)
Angel1000168 16
Uhhhh... really? A necklace must be really delicate to snap and shatter like that. You shouldnt wear delicate stuff like that in bed... Even a rest!
emmagillespie24 11
Do you get cockroaches crawling on your neck often?
sofia_palermo 1
That's nothing, I live in ******* Florida- their everywhere!!!
jayyceeeee 3
of all things,you expect a cockroach!?!
DontWalkAway 8
I guess I can understand that. I have a terrible fear of bugs, and I think cockroaches (and spiders!) are among the worst. Whenever I feel some sort of tickling sensation, my first thought is OH MY GOD IT'S A BUG.
pinkbabypuff1 0
Why would you think it's a cockroach? Has it happened before?
rainbow73100 7
your house must be really disgusting for your first thought to be a cockroach.
ilovetraveler 17
I thought you were going to say it was your cat.
lolzatyourprobz 12
If it was a necklace, how would you have ripped it off your neck without realizing it was a necklace before throwing it?
AyOoDaLoBo33 10
Sounds like quite a fragile necklace.