Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML
Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML
Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML
Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML
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Top comments
isallwaysme 27
at least you got some? poop afterwards
sharksfan48 13
Why not have both? *mexican music*
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Comments (81)
jw90 18
You joined right?
1dvs_bstd 41
Harold and Female Kumar?
hannikins 13
Why the hell are you complaing
jahjahjama 9
Should've done both at the same time let her ride you while you shit Why the hell not??
Enslaved 38
Turbulence? Nope, just strangers ******* in the lavatory.:P
starsfan326 12
Some one got a blumpkin
Martinez0285 28
if you were a man you will have done both!! and you will be able to safely tuck your man card away .... don't forget the courtesy flush ... don't be rude .. :)
PoisonedLiquor 17
I just had sex and it felt so good. She let me put my penis inside her! What a convenient song :)
trinibrit 7
At least u can say a hot girl wanted to have sec with u
FloMarDee 19
your life truly sucks if u declined... seriously