By peniswoman - 14/07/2013 17:03 - United Kingdom - Paisley

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 023
You deserved it 18 325

Same thing different taste

Top comments

mkid232 15

Wow, you sound like a bundle of fun, OP...


Boys: are 21, look 14, act like 11 Girls: are 11, look 14, act 21

zed34 18

Which is why we have to be careful nowdays. Where was these chicks at when I was in school!!

No, he just had a sense of humor. Op seems a tad uptight.

I bet she's real tight with no sense of humor

It ain't always funny. Last time I slapped a woman with my penis it knocked her unconscious.

Just talk to him about it so he might not do that to you again. I say that because he may just do it again despite what you tell him or it's possible your bf was just horsing around with you and thought you would have laughed at his immaturity with him.

life_sucks225 13

#28... I'm 16, look 21 and act 25. Not all men are the same.

#62 you must either have a huge penis or work it out on a daily bases

finalfantasyftw 10

#97 unless he slapped the back of her throat with it.

ThatFancyPenn 18

Wow #28 that completely wasn't from iFunny...

mkid232 15

Wow, you sound like a bundle of fun, OP...

etoilenuit 15

Yea that's really funny. I would just laugh.

Bask in lovely times, OP you got a keeper and a humorous one; well haven't you heard 'child is father of the man'!

She sounds stuck up as hell. God forbid someone open up and be silly around another person. Must be a sign of a horrible person to have a sense of humor. Damn.

Now before we jump to any conclusions it is very possible that op did in fact deserve this...

I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic guys, and making fun of people who constantly say "YDI" for no apparent reason. I don't see why he's thumbed down.

Laurenluvz 11

Not everyone can read sarcasm over the Internet. OP's "significant other" sounds like a hobknocker to me.

I think he sounds funny. Why do people want to be mature all the time? That's boring

#59 you don't even know how to wipe your @as yet, and you're already lame & boring... Good luck with that...

Are you really going to say @ss? Ass isn't censored you know.

Laurenluvz 11

I guess my comment wasn't really the best, but that response was way out of line..

Uuuuuhhhh... hobknocker? Is that a UK term, or a ****-hate term, or what? I'm not really sure what to think of that. Either way, the dude sounds like a pretty free spirit to me. If OP's anus is too tight, try some lube, in conjunction with the penis mans powers... Should loosen things up a bit.

That sounds like my dream man, he's got a good sense of humor.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Every girl I've been with has said I'm the best at slapping them in face with my penis, just to let you know 41.. Haha.

physical abuse? he hit her with his dick... I don't know about you, but I wouldn't slap someone very hard with mine...

Tell him to quit giving you a hard time.

JFloUnknown 24

But still, try not to be too hard on him.

ya you don't want him to become soft

I think the joke was too hard for 49 to understand.

Let's erect a statue in his honor, yeah?

jw90 18

He's got a good sense of humor

I agree. OP is a bit uptight to me. But that's just my opinion.

Op why not play along! I think he was just trying to have some fun :)

Some people just don't understand the concept of fun.

perdix 29

I guess since you are dating man-child, you survived the beating and could write the FML. If he were a man, he'd have knocked you out (and them maybe up).

That was pretty brutal, perdix, and an absolutely horrible thing to say. Maybe I'm reading it incorrectly, but abuse isn't funny at the best of times.

perdix 29

I think you are misreading. I'm talking about whacking her with his dick. It would be hyperbole to think someone with even a large package developing enough torque to knock someone out.

In that case, I apologize. I suppose that would explain the trail of unconscious women you leave behind. I always thought they swooned at the sight of you, but apparently I've been mistaken all along.

perdix 29

Blame the Zumba! All that hip thrusting in class has helped me develop concussive junk torque. I wonder how the ladies in my class are savaging their husbands/boyfriend with their newfound pelvic power.

dakotahulsey 15

You are my favorite commenter.

Oh c'mon. My parents got divorced cus of that shit, and I can still take a joke. Loosen up that butt of yours, sounds a little tight.

Woops, didn't read more before commenting. Sorry 'bout that.

Put a towel around your head and walk around naked saying you are the "Ocean Clam" then sit on his face and see if he can find your pearl. Wait. Maybe that will just encourage him more. FYL indeed

Well gentlemen. I think I've found my new favourite pickup line.

I think you are either too young or too immature for this app if you don't know what a ******** is.

Maybe he thought he was being legitimately funny.

Does anyone ever joke around to be illegitimately funny?