By peniswoman - 14/07/2013 17:03 - United Kingdom - Paisley
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Now before we jump to any conclusions it is very possible that op did in fact deserve this...
Uuuuuhhhh... hobknocker? Is that a UK term, or a homo-hate term, or what? I'm not really sure what to think of that. Either way, the dude sounds like a pretty free spirit to me. If OP's anus is too tight, try some lube, in conjunction with the penis mans powers... Should loosen things up a bit.
I guess since you are dating man-child, you survived the beating and could write the FML. If he were a man, he'd have knocked you out (and them maybe up).
Put a towel around your head and walk around naked saying you are the "Ocean Clam" then sit on his face and see if he can find your pearl. Wait. Maybe that will just encourage him more. FYL indeed