Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML
Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML
Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML
Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML
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Top comments
isallwaysme 27
at least you got some? poop afterwards
sharksfan48 13
Why not have both? *mexican music*
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Comments (81)
bluerara912 12
Are you not into girls? Geez
Larry01_fml 19
you always gotta take care of number 1 before number 2
buckdharma 38
In use, seduce, produce, induce, deuce, vamoose.
wisericky 12
Because you can't have your cake and poop it out. :P
XxcaitanatorXx 12
Lol ikr
Obey_StudBoii 23
Goes to show what kind of woman she really is. She should have more respect for her body instead of being desperate. It's women like her that put a bad label on other women.
Enslaved 38
Doesn't look good on the guy either, willing to stick his **** in anything with a pulse.
Alicestraza 33
It's women like you that make other women look bad. Who are you to tell two consenting adults what they can't do? Get off your pedestal. This says nothing about her character. She's not desperate because she wasn't willing to wait til marriage to **** a guy she liked. Please keep repressing the sexuality of women, it's not like we've had that for centuries.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Hey sweetie if you took my comment to the heart that's on you not me.
Alicestraza 33
I would have thought you were the one taking my comment to heart when you're pming me in all caps and then blocking me.
iwadasn 33
Trying to seduce a man in a public place while he's trying to go to the bathroom says quite a bit about her character, actually.
Alicestraza 33
She didn't know he was going to the bathroom though, did she? Since they hit it off so well, she took his going to the bathroom as an indication for mile high club activities?
CeeCee_fml 16
All these "if you were a MAN..." and the like comments are cringe worthy.
Goumbush 4
How is this an FML? You almost got laid!!!
Ellisonjulian 4
I ain't even mad
gameover18 17
so... did you tap that?