Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while working as a hotel guard, I found a homeless man lying in the grass. I asked him to move and he ignored me, continuing to lie there with his head resting on his arms and a big smile on his face. I got annoyed and started to yell at him. After a few minutes, I realized he was dead. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML
Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he sat down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML
Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML
Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML
Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
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Top comments
gogo_speedracer 0
Awww! It was nice of you to listen for 10 minutes!
omega802 0
awwww he likes u
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Comments (128)
hitmanoo 16
that's why you always mind your own business!
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for having a leg for him to grab. And obviously it wasn't a "death-grip" if you're still alive. You shouldn't exagerrate; exagerration is the absolutely WORST thing a human can possibly do.
MetalmaidenDeth 0
aha! i SEE what you did there.
atomicwedgie4u 0
next time just start crying & shouting about the injustice of life. see if you can't trap a large group of people into it before you go.
omnimatty 0
too bad the death grip didn't result in a dropped connection.
overachiever2626 0
just kick him to the curb if he's annoying you. simple as that.
Bertj 5
Aww that's so nice :)
blahzz 4
Only 10 minutes? Bums usually go on for at least 30 minutes then ask you for change or a *******. Consider yourself lucky.
Sniper3000 0
the weather was nice so no fml for u
sweetdreams999 0
op are you retarded? of course he wasn't ok. would you be? morons.... wow
SeedlessMe 13
Sorry OP, I really don't have any sympathy for you. You had a sucky ten whole minutes, That guy you met has real issues. I feel for him on this one =(