Today, while I was working in the liquor store, I was trying to impress my hot boss by lifting three cases of Grey goose. Turns out I can't, and I'll be working for the next two months of the rest of my summer paying it all back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working as a cart attendant, I found one of my coworkers on a lawn chair sipping on a Bud Light in the parking lot, while we both were supposed to be working, leaving me to push carts by myself. My boss comes out to me catching my breath and tells me to work harder. FML
Today, I was at work, cleaning up a construction site. I picked up a beer can and accidentally spilled some of it on me. My boss came in to check on me and thought I was drunk. Instead of getting a raise, I was fired. FML
Today, it's day one of my suspension and probably being fired from my job. Why? I accidentally took a beer out my bag instead of a soda, then got distracted working to make sure everything got done. FML
Today, it was my first day at work as a waitress. The day ended with me owing my employers money, after I accidentally smashed an expensive bottle of wine on the floor. FML
Today, at the winery, my boss proudly made a spectacle of the new, high quality bottles. After over a year of employment without breaking a bottle, I shattered three before lunch. FML
Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML
Today, I got a badly-needed job at a local discount store. After being hired, I found out I'm to help with the soon-to-begin store closing sale, and I'll be jobless again after 3 months. FML
Today, a pretty co-worker invited me out for drinks after my shift. I have no money left until payday. Embarrassed, I had to decline and go home alone. FML
Today, I'm a cashier in a grocery store. The visiting regional manager tore me a new one for being lazy. His reason? After working a double shift with no break, I decided to sit down for a minute when things got slow. FML
Today, to get my coworker fired, I spiked his coffee with whiskey. Joke's on me, he's apparently enough of a drunk that it didn't affect him. Then I dropped the bottle as I was leaving for the day, cut up my ankle, and I'm now suspended. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
..because lifting alcohol makes you seem cool
maupa 0
Way to go... Use your brain next time, not muscles ;)
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Comments (117)
Xero3g 5
I feel sorry for all the geese that went into making those. And LMFAO @ the Goatse orange!
MIKENYC 0
#2 is fine. I wanna hit that
Mikey_Mayhem 0
#12 well played sir, obviously lifting three cases of grey goose is the "i win" button in terms of getting ladies, too bad this guy missed out on it, caus his boss totally woulda given him a ******* for carrying three if he didnt drop them
birds_fml 7
They cannot legally make you pay back something you broke as an employee. There's all sorts of laws against that... if that were legal, no one would make any money ever cause they'd always be paying for something. Point this out to your boss, and if they continue to dock your wages, sue.
HeyThereGorgeous 0
Dating your boss ... Never a good idea anyway.
Goose_fml 0
#24 - that might apply generally, but I'm pretty sure that wouldn't count if the guy was being an idiot and carrying more than he could handle.
fretforyerlatte 0
any fml that starts out with "i was trying to impress" automatically gets a YDI. i'm sure the boss has seen plenty of people lift plenty of boxes. do you think she nailed all of them? ..well, if she did, you probably still have a chance. dunno why people don't just be themselves. you wouldn't want someone to like you based on your heavy-lifting abilities anyway, especially since you apparently aren't very good at it.
Colby_Colbert 0
Next time just say "hey, this is my ****. Whadya think?". I bet she'll jump right on it
hahaha6 0
There are those magic words again that make everyone scream "You Deserve It!" "I was trying to impress....." = YDI.
bbqsauce 0
what a waste of grey goose...