Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
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Top comments
By
Xx3rdBASSxX
| 9
Was the pillow pet Horney?
By
MicroFuturism
| 1
Pfft don't be so uptight.
COMMENTS
By
Xx3rdBASSxX
| 9
Was the pillow pet Horney?
Reply
LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE
| 0
First
Reply
omgcookeys
| 15
It's a unicorn, so yeah, it's horny.
Reply
Xx3rdBASSxX
| 9
No I was first
Reply
LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE
| 0
I won the race! First or last losers!!
Reply
LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE
| 0
I was the first post on the first comment... First appears twice in that sentence. One applies to me and the other to Xx3rdbassxX. Learn to count...
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
I'm number 22 what do I win??!!?
Reply
LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE
| 0
22, You will receive ten cookies in the mail. It takes 5 business days to bake/send the cookies. Please be patient
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
Thank you very much, here is three internetz for you!
Reply
LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE
| 0
For the incorrect use of Internet (it DOES NOT have a Z and IS NOT plural), three of your ten cookies will arrive crumbled. Thank you for your time.
Reply
Meowingtons500
| 18
Surprise pillow pet secks! The last to get violated by the horny unicorn wins! :D
Reply
LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE
| 0
You seem awfully jealous of my success... It probably comes from the way your parents treated you. Your brother Jacob always was first. He started in football, got the girls, and naturally your parents loved him instead of you. This abuse from a young age forced you into a life of arguing with obvious trolls on fml. Sorry....
Reply
Meowingtons500
| 18
Has your childhood abuse caused you to become an obvious Internet troll on FML? :)
Reply
LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE
| 0
Only slightly! ;D
Reply
Meowingtons500
| 18
Just saying, your little story about theislands family history is quite vivid. Are we trolls and stalkers? ;)
Reply
LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE
| 0
Both of course... Dumbass
Reply
LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE
| 0
Is anyone else wondering where the moderators are? They normally stop this crap from going on so long...
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
Where the heck did all the comments go??!!
Reply
VioletLife
| 18
Wait, you are calling him a child, yet you are the one with a pillow pet?
Reply
Meowingtons500
| 18
One step two step three step, four
Pillow pets pillow pets, your boyfriend adores
Raping unicorns; stop with the hate
Lend an arm, before the unicorns fly back to the barn!
And yes, this took me ten minutes to write. :)
Pillow pets pillow pets, your boyfriend adores
Raping unicorns; stop with the hate
Lend an arm, before the unicorns fly back to the barn!
And yes, this took me ten minutes to write. :)
Reply
BaconDave
| 12
Wow, ten minutes and I still can't understand it.
Reply
n_epic_fail
| 14
Doesn't matter, had sex.
Reply
keepcaImcarryon
| 0
From the unicorn pillow pets perspective: "I just had seexx, and it felt so good. A woman let me stick my horn inside of herr!"
Reply
Liimitless
| 6
*horny
Reply
teague95
| 16
Grammar nazis are only good for 1 thing. Failing
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
How do we fail.. We correct people's mistakes.
Reply
urdirtyolduncle
| 15
I thought girls liked it harder and faster. You're lucky you have sex.
Reply
cocobulla1
| 4
You're calling him childish? You're the one with a pillow pet...
Reply
Justforlolz
| 14
112- *Facepalm*
Reply
Naitsi
| 19
haha
Reply
reaganomics
| 6
Not sure how this is a fml.....but at least the unicorns happy
Reply
morgan320
| 0
Pillowpet pillowpet, with a horn,
Flies around raping newborn,
Up and down, even sideways,
Used and tired the newborn lays,
The horn of the unicorn very dirty,
I'm off guys, goodnight, derpy.
Flies around raping newborn,
Up and down, even sideways,
Used and tired the newborn lays,
The horn of the unicorn very dirty,
I'm off guys, goodnight, derpy.
Reply
Meowingtons500
| 18
Nice rip-off, morgan320.
Reply
reaganomics
| 6
Not sure how this is an FML.....but at least the unicorn is happy
Reply
free2speak
| 14
My sisters have pillow pets. they are also 4 year old. The Irving here is that you told him to stop acting like child but you own a pillowpet. O.o
Reply
DayAndNite
| 8
That's hot
Reply
lvlcapblue
| 0
He must be a brony, aka awesome!
Reply
alival
| 12
I just got my 5 yr old cousin a unicorn pillow pet 4 Christmas! How is it gonna act around her!!
Reply
Uscdrew1
| 7
I would get one of those if they had one that looked like Twilight Sparkle.
Reply
ninjacutie
| 6
I'm 14 I have a pillow pet… but it's the lady bug one not the unicorn so I'm safe right guys? Anyway I think OP is freaking amazing for having a pillow pet I should make a club for all the cool kids who aren't like… children… that have pillow pets >.< hell my boyfriend has a pillow pet… oh dear god I hope he's not gay… WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS?
Reply
reaganomics
| 6
258 cocaine is a hell of a drug huh ?
Reply
minodino
| 8
The Irving? I'm not familiar with that term
Reply
youshitme
| 9
You're good for nothing then. If anything, they were a 'spelling' Nazi in this case.
Reply
free2speak
| 14
dammit iPhone, irony!!! not Irving. Anyway, I just cited my opinion. I think they are childish to have after a certain age. I have old stuffed animals (4) from my past that have sentimental value and that's why I keep them around and I'll admit I love playing with my little sister's barbies and stuffed animals with them, but I would never own one. I'm also 21 so that may be why. I don't see a problem with it if you're 14/16 but after that age it's a little weird.
Reply
cocobulla1
| 4
I already said that.
Reply
rubberduckie94
| 13
too true. i thought the same thing. she probably has no sense of humor at all.
Reply
kittykat1501
| 31
258 me too! I have a whole collection. I've had them since I was little
By
LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE
| 0
Boner boner boner
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
Every1luvzbonerz
Reply
M0rt
| 0
I loved boners but then I took an arrow to the knee
Reply
LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE
| 0
Boner boner boner
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
I used to be an idiotic troll.. Then I got a punch in the face
Reply
LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE
| 0
I used to get punched in the face, so I became an idiotic troll...
Boner boner boner
Boner boner boner
By
MicroFuturism
| 1
Pfft don't be so uptight.
Reply
KatherineAnne
| 7
Legit. I would have just laughed if my bf did that. And he prolly would. O_o
Reply
xcarxcrashx
| 9
Seriously. Calm down. If this fucks your life then you have bigger problems.
Reply
silhouettelove
| 0
Bahaha lord knows my boyfriend would do that
Reply
urdirtyolduncle
| 15
So would mine!!
Reply
JinxosGirl87
| 0
Actually I would be the one doing this to my boyfriend as he tries to escape :)
Reply
shadexilmaendu
| 4
Really. XD my bf and I do shit like this to each other on a daily basis. Being silly just means he's comfortable with you xD
By
Lesslerr01
| 1
Hahaha that's cute :) you and your boyfriend are comfortable enough with each other for this stuff to happen. Not an FML
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
Obviously she is NOT comfortable with it, so it IS an FML. Otherwise she wouldn't have posted it. Right?
Right.
Right.
Reply
osnapitzjp
| 0
Right
Reply
BIGBOY4rmAHM
| 19
Wrong. Maybe she was annoyed from something else.
Reply
SillyFart
| 7
Left
By
mozeltov
| 7
Is It just me or did that make no sense whatsoever
Reply
MicroFuturism
| 1
It's just you :P
Reply
Lanceeden
| 12
I had to read it a second time. First time around it sounded like her arm was humping the pillow.
Reply
flockz
| 19
first time i read it i imagined op's boyfriend as pedobear, especially when he said "children don't have sex like this." then he added on to the description.
Reply
UrCapsLockOn
| 12
when i read it the first time it was like he's humping the pillow ,,, but now everything under control
Reply
rabTAI
| 3
Make no sense, how come this is Fuck your Life.
Reply
ngarcia333
| 0
It just sux!!!
Reply
CityCunt
| 0
It didn't make any sense. She is bitching about his actions being "childish" yet she is the one that still keeps a stuffed animal around. Fucking hypocrites these days...
By
rawrface22
| 10
Who doesn't love humping unicorns?
Reply
MichellinMan
| 20
I didn't like it when my unicorn humped me. Right before a blow job, I got stabbed in the tesicle.
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
Leapfroggers.
Reply
M0rt
| 0
I loved humping unicorns but then I took an arrow to the knee
Reply
evig_fml
| 16
196 nice skyrim reference
Reply
ArielTheMermaid
| 17
Nothing wrong with having a pillow pet. I have two and am getting a third for christmas :)
By
zanrothnis
| 2
How did this all end?
Reply
MikeDa1Da
| 14
She ended up humping his unicorn ;)
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
A shotgun blast to the eyes?
Reply
zurisbloodyrose
| 0
Massive orgy.
Reply
TheFunnyzach
| 3
#42 Umad bro?
Reply
zakkyzebra
| 11
Glitter. Everywhere.
Reply
themacuser
| 0
He died two weeks later. op couldn't cope and moved away to start a new life.
Reply
JinxosGirl87
| 0
The unicorn reclined while puffing on a plushy cigarette.
Reply
signuplogin
| 1
Did anybody notice that she told hi to stop being childish yet she is the one with the unicorn pillow pet... I know alot of adults have them but if she has a childs toy around them she shouldn't say that
By
Wheredidgrungego
| 12
Sex with animals is both illegal and wrong. Ever seen 2 guys 1 horse?
Reply
TheFunnyzach
| 3
No, tell me more.
Reply
EddiE_CN
| 8
I should not have looked it up..FML
Reply
TypicalTroll
| 0
I directed that video
Reply
brunogtz
| 4
blue waffle is better, check it out
Reply
DontModMeDammit
| 10
Blue waffle is nothing compared to red pancake.. But for your own sake don't look it up, urban dictionary it, but no picture.
Reply
Seduisant
| 7
Blue waffle isn't that bad compared to special fried rice.
Reply
me_gusta_eso
| 1
Special Fried Rice isn't as bad as Justin Bieber.
Reply
zakkyzebra
| 11
Why oh why did I look all of these up...
Reply
Awesome_Guy2468
| 0
Purple speghetti!!!!!!!! I'm inventing that one later
Reply
builditbetter09
| 3
O_O fuck you curiosity...
Reply
xcarxcrashx
| 9
Purple spaghetti is a joke that has already been invented. Sorry.
Reply
me_gusta_eso
| 1
Agh stupid comments I thought it didn't show up
Reply
RainbowPanda1699
| 0
It's a pillow pet, I don't see the big deal.
By
EddiE_CN
| 8
Op's boyfriend is.......a keeper
Reply
G97Alex
| 21
No
Reply
aus1095
| 4
You look like a creeper in your pic. He is just being playful.
By
ramey_aka_stud
| 6
Oh come on, that is hilarious.
Reply
ikickgingers
| 15
Sir, I concur.
Reply
lexxxijade
| 0
I agree! XD