By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 13:01 - United States

Spicy
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 064
You deserved it 11 191

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Top comments

Was the pillow pet Horney?

MicroFuturism 1

Pfft don't be so uptight.

Comments

Was the pillow pet Horney?

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0

First

omgcookeys 15

It's a unicorn, so yeah, it's horny.

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0

I won the race! First or last losers!!

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0

I was the first post on the first comment... First appears twice in that sentence. One applies to me and the other to Xx3rdbassxX. Learn to count...

I'm number 22 what do I win??!!?

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0

22, You will receive ten cookies in the mail. It takes 5 business days to bake/send the cookies. Please be patient

Thank you very much, here is three internetz for you!

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0

For the incorrect use of Internet (it DOES NOT have a Z and IS NOT plural), three of your ten cookies will arrive crumbled. Thank you for your time.

Surprise pillow pet secks! The last to get violated by the horny unicorn wins! :D

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0

You seem awfully jealous of my success... It probably comes from the way your parents treated you. Your brother Jacob always was first. He started in football, got the girls, and naturally your parents loved him instead of you. This abuse from a young age forced you into a life of arguing with obvious trolls on fml. Sorry....

Has your childhood abuse caused you to become an obvious Internet troll on FML? :)

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0

Only slightly! ;D

Just saying, your little story about theislands family history is quite vivid. Are we trolls and stalkers? ;)

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0

Both of course... Dumbass

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0

Is anyone else wondering where the moderators are? They normally stop this crap from going on so long...

Where the heck did all the comments go??!!

Wait, you are calling him a child, yet you are the one with a pillow pet?

One step two step three step, four Pillow pets pillow pets, your boyfriend adores Raping unicorns; stop with the hate Lend an arm, before the unicorns fly back to the barn! And yes, this took me ten minutes to write. :)

Wow, ten minutes and I still can't understand it.

n_epic_fail 14

Doesn't matter, had sex.

From the unicorn pillow pets perspective: "I just had seexx, and it felt so good. A woman let me stick my horn inside of herr!"

Grammar nazis are only good for 1 thing. Failing

How do we fail.. We correct people's mistakes.

I thought girls liked it harder and faster. You're lucky you have sex.

You're calling him childish? You're the one with a pillow pet...

112- *Facepalm*

Not sure how this is a fml.....but at least the unicorns happy

Pillowpet pillowpet, with a horn, Flies around raping newborn, Up and down, even sideways, Used and tired the newborn lays, The horn of the unicorn very dirty, I'm off guys, goodnight, derpy.

Nice rip-off, morgan320.

Not sure how this is an FML.....but at least the unicorn is happy

free2speak 14

My sisters have pillow pets. they are also 4 year old. The Irving here is that you told him to stop acting like child but you own a pillowpet. O.o

He must be a brony, aka awesome!

I just got my 5 yr old cousin a unicorn pillow pet 4 Christmas! How is it gonna act around her!!

I would get one of those if they had one that looked like Twilight Sparkle.

I'm 14 I have a pillow pet… but it's the lady bug one not the unicorn so I'm safe right guys? Anyway I think OP is freaking amazing for having a pillow pet I should make a club for all the cool kids who aren't like… children… that have pillow pets >.< hell my boyfriend has a pillow pet… oh dear god I hope he's not gay… WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS?

258 cocaine is a hell of a drug huh ?

The Irving? I'm not familiar with that term

You're good for nothing then. If anything, they were a 'spelling' Nazi in this case.

free2speak 14

dammit iPhone, irony!!! not Irving. Anyway, I just cited my opinion. I think they are childish to have after a certain age. I have old stuffed animals (4) from my past that have sentimental value and that's why I keep them around and I'll admit I love playing with my little sister's barbies and stuffed animals with them, but I would never own one. I'm also 21 so that may be why. I don't see a problem with it if you're 14/16 but after that age it's a little weird.

I already said that.

too true. i thought the same thing. she probably has no sense of humor at all.

kittykat1501 31

258 me too! I have a whole collection. I've had them since I was little

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0

Boner boner boner

Every1luvzbonerz

M0rt 0

I loved boners but then I took an arrow to the knee

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0

Boner boner boner

I used to be an idiotic troll.. Then I got a punch in the face

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0

I used to get punched in the face, so I became an idiotic troll... Boner boner boner

MicroFuturism 1

Pfft don't be so uptight.

KatherineAnne 7

Legit. I would have just laughed if my bf did that. And he prolly would. O_o

Seriously. Calm down. If this fucks your life then you have bigger problems.

Bahaha lord knows my boyfriend would do that

So would mine!!

JinxosGirl87 0

Actually I would be the one doing this to my boyfriend as he tries to escape :)

shadexilmaendu 4

Really. XD my bf and I do shit like this to each other on a daily basis. Being silly just means he's comfortable with you xD

Lesslerr01 1

Hahaha that's cute :) you and your boyfriend are comfortable enough with each other for this stuff to happen. Not an FML

Obviously she is NOT comfortable with it, so it IS an FML. Otherwise she wouldn't have posted it. Right? Right.

BIGBOY4rmAHM 19

Wrong. Maybe she was annoyed from something else.

Is It just me or did that make no sense whatsoever

MicroFuturism 1

It's just you :P

I had to read it a second time. First time around it sounded like her arm was humping the pillow.

flockz 19

first time i read it i imagined op's boyfriend as pedobear, especially when he said "children don't have sex like this." then he added on to the description.

UrCapsLockOn 12

when i read it the first time it was like he's humping the pillow ,,, but now everything under control

Make no sense, how come this is Fuck your Life.

It just sux!!!

CityCunt 0

It didn't make any sense. She is bitching about his actions being "childish" yet she is the one that still keeps a stuffed animal around. Fucking hypocrites these days...

Who doesn't love humping unicorns?

MichellinMan 20

I didn't like it when my unicorn humped me. Right before a blow job, I got stabbed in the tesicle.

Leapfroggers.

M0rt 0

I loved humping unicorns but then I took an arrow to the knee

196 nice skyrim reference

ArielTheMermaid 17

Nothing wrong with having a pillow pet. I have two and am getting a third for christmas :)

zanrothnis 2

How did this all end?

She ended up humping his unicorn ;)

RedPillSucks 31

A shotgun blast to the eyes?

zurisbloodyrose 0

Massive orgy.

zakkyzebra 11

Glitter. Everywhere.

He died two weeks later. op couldn't cope and moved away to start a new life.

JinxosGirl87 0

The unicorn reclined while puffing on a plushy cigarette.

signuplogin 1

Did anybody notice that she told hi to stop being childish yet she is the one with the unicorn pillow pet... I know alot of adults have them but if she has a childs toy around them she shouldn't say that

Sex with animals is both illegal and wrong. Ever seen 2 guys 1 horse?

No, tell me more.

I should not have looked it up..FML

TypicalTroll 0

I directed that video

blue waffle is better, check it out

DontModMeDammit 10

Blue waffle is nothing compared to red pancake.. But for your own sake don't look it up, urban dictionary it, but no picture.

Blue waffle isn't that bad compared to special fried rice.

me_gusta_eso 1

Special Fried Rice isn't as bad as Justin Bieber.

zakkyzebra 11

Why oh why did I look all of these up...

Awesome_Guy2468 0

Purple speghetti!!!!!!!! I'm inventing that one later

builditbetter09 3

O_O fuck you curiosity...

Purple spaghetti is a joke that has already been invented. Sorry.

me_gusta_eso 1

Agh stupid comments I thought it didn't show up

It's a pillow pet, I don't see the big deal.

Op's boyfriend is.......a keeper

aus1095 4

You look like a creeper in your pic. He is just being playful.

Oh come on, that is hilarious.

ikickgingers 15

Sir, I concur.

lexxxijade 0

I agree! XD