Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room… where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML
Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML
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Top comments
ifuckmonsters 5
Maybe Cartman was trying to connect with you spiritually.
MSheary1993 1
Screw you guys I'm going home to meditate. Oh wait...
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Comments (161)
Shadow_Phantom 26
Ah, FYL OP. You should really download the idosr mp3s, and listen to the "delta" one with earplugs in. It's epic... and blocks out most noise.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
FYL
islander03 5
soo 1. South Park sucks 2. I'm assuming your room was upstairs so if he was downstairs in the living room couldn't you tell they were too far away to be related to you?
The_Weirdo 10
Wait, 1. Please use proper sentence structure while posting things. 2. Where did you get that he was upstairs from?
IndigoAcrylic 9
You've just hit nirvana. HAHA, Not. Kay go smoke some japanese maple leaf now. ^_^
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Shut the **** up, Douchebag.
IndigoAcrylic 9
Calm your dicks (or lack of them) It's called a ******* joke. FYI...I don't do drugs. So please...Go drink some tea And..Calm The **** Down KTHXBAI ^_^ And uhh...did I say you smoked "Kay"? Uhm no. I didn't..hmmm I must be ******* tripping balls.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
What KaySL Said. IndigoAcrylic, all you're doing is either trolling or being a complete asshole on this site. Why don't you grow up a little bit and stop posting drug-induced comments on each anecdote? You sound like a 17-year-old stoner.
alexup24 13
SHROOMS
needsagf14 12
Hippie.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Assface (needsagf)
13scarlett13 4
Wow how lame that you were expecting to have some sort of "profound" experience by meditating. Hippie much?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
You're a freshly used turdhole.
ThisIsSpicy 2
"M'Kay...."
Calyx_fml 22
YDI for expecting to have a profound experience. Even wanting one defeats the purpose. Read "zen mind beginners mind" by Suzuki. Then read "The Book on the taboo against knowing who you are" by Alan Watts. Then read some krishnamurti.
ErocX85 0
Shouldn't you be devoid of emotion during meditation so you aren't distracted by worldly things to help you connect with your spiritual self?