Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room… where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML
Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML
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Top comments
ifuckmonsters 5
Maybe Cartman was trying to connect with you spiritually.
MSheary1993 1
Screw you guys I'm going home to meditate. Oh wait...
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Comments (161)
miffle 0
"tuned in"..
Justincolon22 15
Lol wow fyl
Ray_of_midnight 23
"Tune in, turn on, drop out." --Timothy Leary "It's all a bunch of tree-hugging hippie crap!" --Eric Cartman
afulks78 11
Your a dumbass. Great show though :)
abudali911 3
not an fml at all
tj4234 36
As someone who can meditate and was going to spend a year as a Buddhist monk if I didn't get into university, I can tell you that whilst hearing sounds is fine, getting excited by them is not. You need to learn to acknowledge the sounds but not pay any attention to them or even give them any thought (which is actually quite difficult). You do this in the same way that you would do a 'count the breath' meditation, except that you use the sound instead.
enopola 5
As someone that was going to med school before I got kicked out, I do cut right surgeries in my van and consultations.
iiDangerCloseBK 6
By meditating do you mean masturbating?
DoxIxHAVExTo 10
Wow, and THAT is worthy for an FML post? First World Problems much...
ibanez330 2
Lol this is gonna sound weird but i thought it said masturbating the first time i read it. Dyslexia and my screwed up mind working together i suppose...
Avalanches 9
What do we have myah?