Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room… where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML
Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML
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Top comments
ifuckmonsters 5
Maybe Cartman was trying to connect with you spiritually.
MSheary1993 1
Screw you guys I'm going home to meditate. Oh wait...
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Comments (161)
blackstar994 5
I can just picture her siting there, then freaking out and getting excited, and finally realizing it was the tv..
Mama_Umbridge 8
Ten points to Gryffindor!
shazza26 1
Thats the whole point of the FML...
rubberduckie94 13
because she is a blond B L O N D.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Stupidity affects everyone, not just the color of someone's hair. Stereotyping ****...
Metteris 0
Actually op is male...
TitaniaSilk 4
22- I only thumbed you up because you're awesome.
Meowingtons500 18
OP is a guy. >_>
Meowingtons500 18
61- I didn't see your comment. So I stated the already stated obvious. I'm sorry. I shall now hang my head as I imprison myself in the box of shame. :S
desireev 18
Why is it that only KIDS (ages 11-14) have a problem with blondes? I mean seriously! Blonde is a hair color. Not am IQ. However, you show your IQ when you (and people like you) show an obsession for blondes and how smart/dumb we are...
desireev 18
an**
KateWesley44 0
125 -- OP means original poser btw. :)
rubberduckie94 13
hey! I can make fun of blonds because I am a blond.
Xxak907xX 0
Wait...what?
ninjuh_wingman 29
It'd be funny if you heard swearing and thought it was a profound moment.
bubo_fml 11
Don't blame South Park for braking your Yogic concentration..."Blame Canada!"
JoeLouisBomber 9
Your an idiot. Period.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Said the person who can't tell the difference between "YOU'RE" and "YOUR". Moron...
dylanmurre 4
Omg. We have had this conversation before. Nobody cares how it is spelt. We all know what they are saying
Ranimal 12
#34, get off your high horse and shut the **** up. Nobody except people who have the need to show they think they are more educated than others do that, excluding the ones who just correct people so they know for future reference *which you are not in that group*. Again, shut the **** up.
ihasbrains 10
That's awkward because I do it to show the irony and hypocrisy of their post.
CryMoreFMLs 15
86 - Umad, brah?
THE_A_TEEN 28
He called the op an idiot while MAKING HIMSELF LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT by forgeting to put YOU'RE instead of YOUR. I am not just correcting him, I am also pointing out his stupidity. Don't like it, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE. I'll do my crap, you'll do your crap. Insensitive passive-agressive ****...
enopola 5
Sounds mad.
YayFlameWarz 9
Maybe your profound experience was your brother tuning into South Park; Cartman knows all!
Raiden112 0
This is not a fml just stfu people are starving and your complaining about the stupidest shit makes you look like a child
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Hello, and welcome. You must be new.
DocBastard 40
You clearly don't understand the point of this site. Please **** off. Thanks.
kulliken 5
I always hated the people are starving argument, just because someone somewhere is starving that automatically means everyone should never complain about anything which I think is ridiculous I bet even the starving people find things to complain about not involving their lack of substance
BrianAlarcon 0
How is this a Fml?
DocBastard 40
*looks at top of screen* *sees "WWW.FMYLIFE.COM"* That's how, genius.
lelandw7393 3
"meditating"... I'm sure that's what it was... Haha
THE_A_TEEN 28
"Strange noise" Op:(Gasp) a profound experience! "[Cartman] Weeelllll, Kyle's mom's a big fat bitch She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world! She's a stupid bitch, If there ever was a bitch She's a bitch to all the boys and girls!!! On Monday she's a bitch, On Tuesday she's a bitch, On Wednesday thru Saturday she's a bitch Then on Sunday just to be different, She's a super king kamehameha bi-atch" Profound experience, riiiiggghhhhtttt...